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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Intro - 1/30/13
Season 9 • 01/30/2013
Gays fight for marriage equality, the KKK gets a makeover, and Bill Gates talks philanthropy.
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Watching
05:58
George Saunders
The Colbert Report
S9
The MacArthur Grant Fellow uses analogies to explain why he prefers short stories over novels.
01/29/2013
03:21
Guantanamo Bay Office Closure
The Colbert Report
S9
The Obama administration reassigns the guy who failed to close Gitmo to a more cushy post: solving the Middle East.
01/29/2013
03:50
Iran's Space Monkey & America's Ape Moratorium
The Colbert Report
S9
Iran acquires weapons of macaque destruction, while the National Institute of Health retires 110 government-owned chimpanzees.
01/29/2013
04:08
Gun Control & State Sovereignty - Cliff Sloan
The Colbert Report
S9
The former associate White House counsel describes past nullification efforts during the Civil War and Brown v. Board.
01/29/2013
00:34
Intro - 1/29/13
The Colbert Report
S9
States wonder if they have to follow federal law, the war on terror persists, and George Saunders shares his critically-acclaimed book.
01/29/2013
04:59
The Word - It Gets Worse
The Colbert Report
S9
Pro-DOMA lawyer Paul Clement thinks the struggle for gay rights has just been too successful, so it therefore must end in failure.
01/30/2013
07:03
Bill Gates
The Colbert Report
S9
Microsoft's founder talks about polio eradication, information technology and the decline in childhood deaths worldwide.
01/30/2013
04:48
Non-Racist KKK
The Colbert Report
S9
The new Ku Klux Klan spreads its positive message the way any open-minded group would: door to door in the dead of night.
01/30/2013
03:20
Coming Out Benefits & Gay Rights
The Colbert Report
S9
Psychosomatic Medicine prints a study on gay men's stress levels, and conservatives have been saying gays should have equal rights since the beginning of this sentence.
01/30/2013
00:06
Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert Report
S9
Stephen says goodnight.
01/30/2013
00:31
Intro - 1/30/13
The Colbert Report
S9
Gays and lesbians advocate for same-sex marriage, the Ku Klux Klan makes big changes, and billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates joins Stephen.
01/30/2013
04:27
Sport Report - Gatorade Chemicals & Chicken Wing Shortage
The Colbert Report
S9
Gatorade without flame retardant is like hotdogs without pig sphincter, and chicken thieves run a-fowl as wing prices fly high.
01/31/2013
01:10
Sign Off - Welcome Baby Sanchez!
The Colbert Report
S9
Stephen congratulates his wardrobe mistress who just gave birth to the newest citizen of Colbert Nation.
01/31/2013
03:22
Craziest F#?King Thing I've Ever Heard - Crows Using Tools
The Colbert Report
S9
A bird demonstrates higher-level thinking while Big Bird, after 40 years, still needs help counting to 10.
01/31/2013
05:58
Sport Report - Ads for Ads & Deer Antler Spray
The Colbert Report
S9
TiVo watchers practice fast-forwarding, and Sports Illustrated accuses Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis of deer antler doping.
01/31/2013
06:48
Bipartisan Immigration Reform
The Colbert Report
S9
Latino immigrants deserve the same Social Security, Medicare and public education benefits that all Americans are slowly losing.
02/04/2013
02:45
Skeet Shooting Skeptics
The Colbert Report
S9
If President Obama really loved guns, he'd be waving them around at a petting zoo and picking off baby goats, not skeet shooting.
02/04/2013
06:44
Sonia Sotomayor
The Colbert Report
S9
Justice Sotomayor discusses her funny colleagues, self-reliant childhood and most conservative belief as an Independent.
02/04/2013
03:21
Super Bowl XLVII
The Colbert Report
S9
Budweiser turns out a tearjerker ad, Beyonce ends the halftime tradition of arthritic legends, and the Superdome loses power for 35 minutes.
02/04/2013
00:36
Intro - 2/4/13
The Colbert Report
S9
The GOP tries to appeal to Hispanics, President Obama seeks support from gun owners, and Sonia Sotomayor is the first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice.
02/04/2013
00:06
Sign Off - Second Amendment
The Colbert Report
S9
Stephen reviews the Second Amendment and says goodnight.
02/04/2013
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Out of Office
A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
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A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
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Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022