The Colbert Report
Intro - 4/16/07
Season 3 • 04/16/2007
Stephen gets ready to greet Senator John Kerry.
The Colbert ReportS3 A Girl for Stephen Jr.
Tad the Building Manager goes to the Eagle Festival in search of a girlfriend for Stephen Jr.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Body Armor
Stephen isn't saying we don't face challenges in Iraq -- they still don't get his show in the Sunni triangle.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Pope and Iraq
If the Pope wants a project, Stephen could help him get his own ice cream.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Fondest Memories
Stephen details where in your brain you can find tonight's episode.
The Colbert ReportS3 Paulina Likes Stephen
Stephen isn't surprised that Paulina Porizkova thinks he's hot, since looking at Ric Ocasek is like looking in a mirror.
The Colbert ReportS3 Mope Retraction
Stephen misidentifies the Mormon pope, but calls on the Mormon church to correct the mistake.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Metaphor-Off Is On
Sean Penn picks up the gauntlet after Stephen draws a line in the sand.
The Colbert ReportS3 Alpha Dog of the Week - Paul Wolfowitz
Stephen makes Paul Wolfowitz his Alpha Dog of the Week for lifting his leg on the World Bank.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Clean Slate
Stephen feels the only way Alberto Gonzales can get a clean slate is to clean his own slate.
The Colbert ReportS3 John Kerry
John Kerry hints that this may not be the first time he did not consider running for president.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/16/07
Alberto Gonzales prepares to testify before Congress, Paul Wolfowitz gets his girlfriend a high-paying job, and Senator John Kerry talks to Stephen about the environment.
The Colbert ReportS3 Elaine Pagels
Elaine Pagels tells Stephen about the gospel according to Judas.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Stephen's Taxes
Everyone clear a path between Stephen's studio and the 34th Street post office!
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Plan B
The president's Plan A in Iraq must be going according to plan; otherwise they'd already be implementing Plan B.
The Colbert ReportS3 Turtle Race Update
Stephen gives an update on his adopted turtle, Stephanie, as she makes her way to the Galapagos Islands.
The Colbert ReportS3 Metaphor-Off Training
To train for his Metaphor Off against Sean Penn, Stephen has been stretching his metonymies and doing synecdoche squats.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 4/17/07
Stephen questions President Bush's plans for Iraq, investigates a new study on teen abstinence and interviews author Elaine Pagels.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tip/Wag - Fake Sperm
Stephen wags his finger at abstinence education, cell phones, fake sperm and those who can't hack it.
The Colbert ReportS3 Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Pulitzer
According to the Pulitzer's, Henry Ward Beecher is the Most Famous Man in America, but the last time Stephen checked, he didn't have a diet named after him or a sex tape.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Branding
Corporations may not be used to having their names associated with human suffering, but think of the ad space.
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