The Colbert Report

Michael Oppenheimer

Season 3 • 02/12/2007

Dr. Michael Oppenheimer tells Stephen that his fifth dishwasher should have the Energy Star sticker.

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01:50

Stephen for President - A Sign
The Colbert ReportS3

In response to the overwhelming Colbert-for-president forces, Stephen assembles an exploratory committee to determine if he's going to assemble an exploratory committee.
02/08/2007
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06:00

Chris Hedges
The Colbert ReportS3

Chris Hedges tells Stephen why the Christian right are America fascists and why his views of Christianity proves that he was home schooled.
02/08/2007
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02:48

Was It Really That Bad? - Salem Witch Trials
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen compares the trial of Lewis "Scooter" Libby to the Salem witch trials and shows why it really wasn't that bad.
02/08/2007
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02:36

Space Madness
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen defends Lisa Nowak, not so much for confronting her romantic rival, but for wearing a diaper -- plenty of busy professionals, like Bill Gates, wear diapers.
02/08/2007
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00:30

Intro - 2/8/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen finds out if America is ready for a black president and if the Scooter Libby trial is actually a witch hunt. Then, Chris Hedges talks about the bad kind of fascism.
02/08/2007
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06:38

Debra Dickerson
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen examines whether or not Barack Obama is black with the help of Debra Dickerson.
02/08/2007
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05:29

Tip/Wag - John Howard
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen tips the hat from the gays to eleven feet of snow and to John Howard, then wags his finger at a talking urinal cake and John Howard.
02/12/2007
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00:31

Intro - 2/12/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The pentagon may get a second chance to manipulate intelligence, identical snowflakes fall in upstate New York, and the forecast is sunny with a chance of nailing.
02/12/2007
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01:31

Alpha Dog of the Week - Amitabh Bachchan
The Colbert ReportS3

This week's Alpha Dog is Bollywood film star Amitabh Bachchan, who survived a camel kick to the head due to an indestructible turban.
02/12/2007
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03:17

The Word - Inappropriate
The Colbert ReportS3

An investigator called Douglas Feith's manipulation of intelligence "inappropriate." Stephen thinks that's a compliment.
02/12/2007
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06:42

Michael Oppenheimer
The Colbert ReportS3

Dr. Michael Oppenheimer says Stephen can help address the climate crisis with only minor sacrifices. Stephen says he's got the wrong guy.
02/12/2007
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00:59

Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Eight-Child Policy
The Colbert ReportS3

China is on the rise, and to maintain supremacy, America's going to have to breed like Mormon squirrels.
02/13/2007
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03:28

Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Take the Pulse
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen takes ordinary Americans' questions about Chinese outsourcing, aphrodisiacs, games, families and bootleg DVDs.
02/13/2007
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06:40

Sheryl WuDunn
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks journalist Sheryl WuDunn whether China is a friend, a foe, or a frenemy.
02/13/2007
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04:44

The Word - Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Frenemy
The Colbert ReportS3

China is surpassing us everywhere, including in coal consumption, military personnel and executions -- because Texas can't do it alone.
02/13/2007
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06:18

Lance Armstrong
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks Lance Armstrong if "Livestrong" isn't a little weak compared to "Livestronger" or "Livestrongest."
02/14/2007
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02:53

Safe Sex for Senior Citizens
The Colbert ReportS3

A New York Times article reports that senior citizens are exploring safe sex. Stephen disapproves, and they're not the only ones Stephen is wishing a sexless Valentine's Day.
02/14/2007
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03:11

The Word - Bad Medicine
The Colbert ReportS3

It used to be easy to scare teens into not having sex by saying things like, "It's a sin," "You could have a baby," or "Your parents do it."
02/14/2007
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04:52

Sport Report - Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
The Colbert ReportS3

It's the time of the year when the real sports -- like the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show -- finally get their share of the spotlight.
02/14/2007
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00:45

Stephen Protects Valentine's Day
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen knows there's no better time to protect the sanctity of marriage than Valentine's Day, so he presents a montage of some of New York's most loving couples.
02/14/2007
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00:32

Intro - 2/14/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Political controversy rages over women's health in Texas, Stephen reviews the Westminster Dog Show, and Lance Armstrong explains why he never won the Tour de America.
02/14/2007
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