The Colbert Report

Michael Oppenheimer

Season 3 • 02/12/2007

Dr. Michael Oppenheimer tells Stephen that his fifth dishwasher should have the Energy Star sticker.

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01:50

The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen for President - A Sign

In response to the overwhelming Colbert-for-president forces, Stephen assembles an exploratory committee to determine if he's going to assemble an exploratory committee.
02/08/2007
06:00

The Colbert ReportS3
Chris Hedges

Chris Hedges tells Stephen why the Christian right are America fascists and why his views of Christianity proves that he was home schooled.
02/08/2007
02:48

The Colbert ReportS3
Was It Really That Bad? - Salem Witch Trials

Stephen compares the trial of Lewis "Scooter" Libby to the Salem witch trials and shows why it really wasn't that bad.
02/08/2007
02:36

The Colbert ReportS3
Space Madness

Stephen defends Lisa Nowak, not so much for confronting her romantic rival, but for wearing a diaper -- plenty of busy professionals, like Bill Gates, wear diapers.
02/08/2007
00:30

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 2/8/07

Stephen finds out if America is ready for a black president and if the Scooter Libby trial is actually a witch hunt. Then, Chris Hedges talks about the bad kind of fascism.
02/08/2007
06:38

The Colbert ReportS3
Debra Dickerson

Stephen examines whether or not Barack Obama is black with the help of Debra Dickerson.
02/08/2007
05:29

The Colbert ReportS3
Tip/Wag - John Howard

Stephen tips the hat from the gays to eleven feet of snow and to John Howard, then wags his finger at a talking urinal cake and John Howard.
02/12/2007
00:31

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 2/12/07

The pentagon may get a second chance to manipulate intelligence, identical snowflakes fall in upstate New York, and the forecast is sunny with a chance of nailing.
02/12/2007
01:31

The Colbert ReportS3
Alpha Dog of the Week - Amitabh Bachchan

This week's Alpha Dog is Bollywood film star Amitabh Bachchan, who survived a camel kick to the head due to an indestructible turban.
02/12/2007
03:17

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Inappropriate

An investigator called Douglas Feith's manipulation of intelligence "inappropriate." Stephen thinks that's a compliment.
02/12/2007
06:42

The Colbert ReportS3
Michael Oppenheimer

Dr. Michael Oppenheimer says Stephen can help address the climate crisis with only minor sacrifices. Stephen says he's got the wrong guy.
02/12/2007
00:59

The Colbert ReportS3
Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Eight-Child Policy

China is on the rise, and to maintain supremacy, America's going to have to breed like Mormon squirrels.
02/13/2007
03:28

The Colbert ReportS3
Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Take the Pulse

Stephen takes ordinary Americans' questions about Chinese outsourcing, aphrodisiacs, games, families and bootleg DVDs.
02/13/2007
06:40

The Colbert ReportS3
Sheryl WuDunn

Stephen asks journalist Sheryl WuDunn whether China is a friend, a foe, or a frenemy.
02/13/2007
04:44

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Frenemy

China is surpassing us everywhere, including in coal consumption, military personnel and executions -- because Texas can't do it alone.
02/13/2007
06:18

The Colbert ReportS3
Lance Armstrong

Stephen asks Lance Armstrong if "Livestrong" isn't a little weak compared to "Livestronger" or "Livestrongest."
02/14/2007
02:53

The Colbert ReportS3
Safe Sex for Senior Citizens

A New York Times article reports that senior citizens are exploring safe sex. Stephen disapproves, and they're not the only ones Stephen is wishing a sexless Valentine's Day.
02/14/2007
03:11

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Bad Medicine

It used to be easy to scare teens into not having sex by saying things like, "It's a sin," "You could have a baby," or "Your parents do it."
02/14/2007
04:52

The Colbert ReportS3
Sport Report - Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show

It's the time of the year when the real sports -- like the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show -- finally get their share of the spotlight.
02/14/2007
00:45

The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen Protects Valentine's Day

Stephen knows there's no better time to protect the sanctity of marriage than Valentine's Day, so he presents a montage of some of New York's most loving couples.
02/14/2007
00:32

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 2/14/07

Political controversy rages over women's health in Texas, Stephen reviews the Westminster Dog Show, and Lance Armstrong explains why he never won the Tour de America.
02/14/2007
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