The Colbert Report
Not a Sex Scandal
Season 3 • 01/09/2007
Archbishop Wielgus may have talked to the secret police, but he did not molest them.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Gallotastic Executacular - Hangin' With Mr. Hussein
Stephen is upset that Saddam Hussein was executed while Stephen was on vacation, especially as he was already planning a 30-minute special for it.
The Colbert ReportS3 Ethan Nadelmann
Director of the Drug Policy Alliance Ethan Nadelmann argues to legalize marijuana to reduce America's prison population.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 1/8/07
In this episode, Stephen discusses Saddam Hussein's execution, welcomes the new Democratic Congress and interviews Drug Policy Alliance Chair Ethan Nadelmann.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Facts
Since the Democrat's version of reality is unfortunately based on reality, Stephen wants to fight facts with "facts."
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 1/9/07
Stephen tells Boy Scout Council 289 to pack their bags, and wonders why celebrities can't fight to the death.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Farewell, James Brown
Though it's sad to lose the Godfather of Soul, there is a silver lining for Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS3 Jim Cramer
Jim Cramer tells Stephen how to get the most out of watching his show.
The Colbert ReportS3 Ohio State Loses
The Florida Gators don't care what kind of message they're sending to America's enemies.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Texas Hold 'Em
Stephen has advice for the president: send everyone to Iraq. Americans need to sacrifice more.
The Colbert ReportS3 We the Mediator - Celebrity Feuds
Stephen picks sides in celebrity fights between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump, Madonna and Angelina Jolie, and Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan.
The Colbert ReportS3 Not a Sex Scandal
On behalf of Catholics everywhere, Stephen thanks Archbishop Wielgus for merely selling out his peers to a godless, totalitarian regime.
The Colbert ReportS3 David Kamp
Stephen and David Kamp discuss the fancy-pantsification of American food.
The Colbert ReportS3 President's Speech
Watching President Bush address the nation is like hanging out with your best bud.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Worry
Stephen wants to delicately remove Missouri and replace it with a stronger heartland: Texas.
The Colbert ReportS3 Invasion of the Country Snatchers
Winning baby contests is what illegal immigrants are leaving their families and risking their lives to come here for.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 1/10/07
The red states may be turning blue, Tek Jansen has a new adventure, and America's taste in food is getting fancier.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Thawing Meat
Never thaw meat, poultry and fish products on the counter or in the sink without cold water.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tek Jansen - Hounds of Hell: Ragtime Billy Peaches
In this episode, Tek Jansen is mysteriously teleported to the combatosphere orbiting over Asteroid Z.
The Colbert ReportS3 What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of? - Doubled Up
Stephen reminds his viewers that just because the numbers on the board are between one and five hundred, that doesn't mean the number he's thinking of is.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tip/Wag - Science and Technology
Stephen is outraged by the iPhone unless he gets one for free.
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