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The Colbert Report
Figgy Moonpowder
Season 5 • 09/16/2009
Stephen introduces his alter ego, Figgy Moonpowder, after David Bowie has a spider named after him.
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Watching
00:03
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Goodnight
That's it for The Report.
09/14/2009
01:06
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen Loses World Record to Lou Dobbs
Lou Dobbs beats Stephen with the world record for most insults to Mexico in a single broadcast.
09/15/2009
04:55
The Colbert Report
S5
Christiane Amanpour
Christiane Amanpour is going to make Americans care about the rest of the world with her CNN show "Amanpour."
09/15/2009
04:03
The Colbert Report
S5
Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission - Jeffrey Toobin
Jeffrey Toobin explains what will happen to elections if the Supreme Court decides in favor of corporations.
09/15/2009
02:43
The Colbert Report
S5
World Record for Mexican Insults
Stephen tries to set his own record for most insults to Mexico in a single nightly news broadcast.
09/15/2009
06:11
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Let Freedom Ka-Ching
Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.
09/15/2009
06:18
The Colbert Report
S5
I's on Edjukashun - Muslim Textbooks & Tony Danza
Obama indoctrinates America's school children, Tucker Carlson reveals Muslims' influence on textbooks, and Tony Danza teaches high school.
09/16/2009
02:09
The Colbert Report
S5
Body Worlds Plans Cadaver Sex Exhibit
The Body Worlds exhibit devoted to cadaver sex makes being dead look like too much fun.
09/16/2009
00:33
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 9/16/09
Stephen takes an in-depth look at education, and The Flaming Lips' two-story plush hippo doesn't get through security.
09/16/2009
04:43
The Colbert Report
S5
Wayne Coyne
Stephen asks The Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne how bad things must be in Oklahoma that "Do You Realize??" is its official rock song.
09/16/2009
02:40
The Colbert Report
S5
Figgy Moonpowder
If David Bowie is going to muscle into Stephen's turf by having a spider named after him, Stephen will introduce his alter ego, Figgy Moonpowder.
09/16/2009
03:35
The Colbert Report
S5
Goat Lab
Stephen resurrects the U.S. military technique of staring at a goat to make its heart explode.
09/17/2009
04:10
The Colbert Report
S5
Sport Report - U.S. Open & NFL Wheel of Scandal
Juan Martin del Potro wins the U.S. Open, and Stephen predicts which NFL player will get in trouble next with the Wheel of Scandal.
09/17/2009
04:24
The Colbert Report
S5
Goat Lab - Jon Ronson
Jon Ronson explains why the U.S. military trained soldiers to use sparkly eyes on the enemy and kill goats with their minds.
09/17/2009
05:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Frank Bruni
Frank Bruni talks about mastering his addiction to compulsive eating as a food critic for the New York Times.
09/17/2009
00:06
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Shofar Goodnight
Stephen says goodnight with his shofar.
09/22/2009
04:58
The Colbert Report
S5
Shai Agassi
Shai Agassi explains his electric car network that's modeled after cell phone plans.
09/22/2009
06:42
The Colbert Report
S5
Tip/Wag - Guns on Amtrak, Fake Lesbians & Battleship Audition
The Senate allows guns on Amtrak trains, fake lesbians push products, and Stephen auditions for "Battleship" with Jeff Goldblum.
09/22/2009
01:57
The Colbert Report
S5
Atone Phone - Jon Stewart Calls to Apologize
Jon calls 1-888-MOSS-LEW to apologize for not having paid for his bed of moss yet.
09/22/2009
00:27
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 9/22/09
The Senate votes to allow guns on trains, and Shai Agassi wants us all to drive electric cars.
09/22/2009
05:28
The Colbert Report
S5
Atone Phone - Emmy Awards
Stephen wants every Jewish member of the television academy to call and beg for forgiveness, which he will then deliver in the form of an acceptance speech.
09/22/2009
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