The Colbert Report

Intro - 11/9/09

Season 5 • 11/09/2009

Stephen profiles the state of Delaware. You're in luck, fans of Beige.

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02:47

Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh & Us Weekly
The Colbert ReportS5

Rush Limbaugh has no clue about who will beat Barack Obama in 2012, and Us Weekly judges celebrities' kids on their appearance.
11/04/2009
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04:33

William Bratton
The Colbert ReportS5

William Bratton works to take the American police force model to emerging democracies and post-conflict nations.
11/04/2009
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04:50

Cheating Death - Swine Flu Scam Detector & Vaxaconda
The Colbert ReportS5

The Prescott Swine Flu Scam Detector exposes fake treatments, while Vaxaconda prevents kidney failure and rodent infestations.
11/04/2009
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00:15

Sign Off - Donate to U.S. Speedskating
The Colbert ReportS5

Don't forget to donate to the U.S. Speedskating team.
11/04/2009
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00:12

Sign Off - Poison Gas
The Colbert ReportS5

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here -- Stephen's flooding the studio with poison gas.
11/04/2009
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02:51

Trouble, Coverage
The Colbert ReportS5

The House Democrats pass health care reform while Republicans are at home watching Wanda Sykes' new show.
11/09/2009
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03:10

U.S. Speedskating Team Takes Gold
The Colbert ReportS5

Thanks to the Colbert Nation, the U.S. Speedskating team wins the gold at the World Cup.
11/09/2009
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07:56

Better Know a District - Delaware's At-Large - Mike Castle
The Colbert ReportS5

Congressman Mike Castle doesn't believe Delaware should allow people to marry chickens.
11/09/2009
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05:19

Thomas Campbell
The Colbert ReportS5

Thomas Campbell explains to Stephen why people come to see art at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
11/09/2009
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00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight.
11/09/2009
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00:31

Intro - 11/9/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The House passes a health care bill late Saturday night, and Stephen ignores Thomas Campbell's suggested donation request.
11/09/2009
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00:09

Sign Off - You Can't Take It With You
The Colbert ReportS5

You can't take it with you, but you can lick it so no one else takes it when you're gone.
11/10/2009
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00:30

Intro - 11/10/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Iranian revolution celebrates 30 years, and Stephen assumes Maria Shriver's new charity is California.
11/10/2009
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02:21

Barney Frank Is Not a Great Outdoorsman
The Colbert ReportS5

Just because Barney Frank authored a bill to legalize medical marijuana doesn't mean he could recognize a pot plant.
11/10/2009
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05:17

Maria Shriver
The Colbert ReportS5

Maria Shriver feeds Stephen Lovin' Scoopful, her new ice cream that benefits Special Olympics.
11/10/2009
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06:51

Iraniversary - Karim Sadjadpour
The Colbert ReportS5

Karim Sadjadpour describes Iranian math superstar Mahmoud Vahidnia's unprecedented act of challenging Iran's supreme leader, Ayatollah Khomeini.
11/10/2009
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00:17

Sign Off - Stephen's Fight With Christopher Caldwell
The Colbert ReportS5

The show went well except for the violent fistfight Stephen had with Christopher Caldwell that had to be edited out.
11/11/2009
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06:22

Christopher Caldwell
The Colbert ReportS5

Christopher Caldwell says unassimilated Muslim immigrants have disrupted European relations between ethnic groups and the sexes.
11/11/2009
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05:23

Grover the Hill
The Colbert ReportS5

America's most insidious socialist brainwashing program, "Sesame Street," celebrates its 40th anniversary and introduces Pox News.
11/11/2009
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02:39

Goldman Sachs Does God's Work
The Colbert ReportS5

Despite collecting the highest salary on Wall Street, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein never forgets he's a blue-collar guy doing God's work.
11/11/2009
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04:13

Tip/Wag - San Francisco Chronicle & George Clinton
The Colbert ReportS5

The San Francisco Chronicle prints on glossy paper, and the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rules in favor of George Clinton.
11/11/2009
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