The Colbert Report
Human Sacrifice Channel
Season 5 E 129 • 10/07/2009

What kind of cable package does Samuel Alito have that he can watch the Human Sacrifice Channel, and why can't Stephen get it?

Watching

05:46

The Colbert ReportS5 E127
The Word - Learning Is Fundamental

As a fifth grader and small businessman, Andy Gellman has to think about how longer school hours will affect the economy.
10/05/2009
03:28

The Colbert ReportS5 E128
John Darnielle

John Darnielle discusses his cheerfully desolate song lyrics and his respect for suicidal mountain goats.
10/06/2009
04:32

The Colbert ReportS5 E128
Formula 401: A Star Is Born

Your baby can look like whichever celebrity Stephen impersonates while creating Formula 401: A Star Is Born.
10/06/2009
01:09

The Colbert ReportS5 E128
New Swine Flu Vaccine Drops

The swine flu vaccine shoots straight to the top of the vaccine charts, blowing away Japanese encephalitis.
10/06/2009
07:10

The Colbert ReportS5 E128
The Road Ahead in Afghanistan - Lara Logan

As President Obama decides how to move forward in Afghanistan, Lara Logan explains the goals of Al Qaeda and the Taliban.
10/06/2009
00:38

The Colbert ReportS5 E129
Intro - 10/7/09

Doctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.
10/07/2009
02:31

The Colbert ReportS5 E129
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Eye Tooth

Doctors enable a blind woman to see again by jamming her own tooth into her eye.
10/07/2009
00:38

The Colbert ReportS5 E129
Sign Off - Jasper T. Jowls

Stephen accidentally lapses into his old routine as the voice of an animatronic banjo dog at Chuck E. Cheese's.
10/07/2009
05:45

The Colbert ReportS5 E129
Tip/Wag - Conservapedia, Louvre & Honda Unicycle

Stephen wants to be a biblical figure on Conservapedia, the Louvre announces its plans to install a McDonald's, and Honda introduces a unicycle of the future.
10/07/2009
06:40

The Colbert ReportS5 E129
Alison Gopnik

Alison Gopnik says babies are already as smart as they can be and have incredibly powerful ways of learning about the world.
10/07/2009
03:37

The Colbert ReportS5 E129
Human Sacrifice Channel

What kind of cable package does Samuel Alito have that he can watch the Human Sacrifice Channel, and why can't Stephen get it?
10/07/2009
02:52

The Colbert ReportS5 E130
Kevin the Iranian Intern

An Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the U.S., and Stephen introduces his new intern, Kevin.
10/08/2009
04:04

The Colbert ReportS5 E130
Sport Report - Rush Limbaugh & Ted Williams' Frozen Head

Rush Limbaugh makes a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams, and cryogenics employees play baseball with Ted Williams' frozen head.
10/08/2009
04:34

The Colbert ReportS5 E130
Colin Beavan

Colin Beavan spent a year making no environmental impact in the hope of finding a way to live that's better for the planet.
10/08/2009
06:58

The Colbert ReportS5 E130
Bend It Like Beck

Stephen understands what Glenn Beck is going through when the media doubts his sincerity.
10/08/2009
00:35

The Colbert ReportS5 E130
Intro - 10/8/09

The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.
10/08/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5 E130
Sign Off - Buddy System

Stephen wants you to pair up until he sees you again in 72 hours.
10/08/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5 E131
Happy Columbus Day

In exchange for spices from the West Indies, Christopher Columbus gave the natives discount mattresses and smallpox.
10/12/2009
05:59

The Colbert ReportS5 E131
Fallback Position - James Blake

James Blake overcomes Stephen's total lack of athletic ability to transform him into a tennis champion.
10/12/2009
07:17

The Colbert ReportS5 E131
War of Peace - Shashi Tharoor

Shashi Tharoor believes President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for giving hope to people around the world.
10/12/2009
02:23

The Colbert ReportS5 E131
Exclusive - Tennis Lesson With James Blake

Stephen learns that tennis is an anything goes free-for-all where deuce is good and love is bad.
10/12/2009