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The Colbert Report
Human Sacrifice Channel
Season 5 • 10/07/2009
Stephen pays $350 a month for cable, but he doesn't get the Human Sacrifice Channel.
More
Watching
05:46
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Learning Is Fundamental
As a fifth grader and small businessman, Andy Gellman has to think about how longer school hours will affect the economy.
10/05/2009
03:28
The Colbert Report
S5
John Darnielle
John Darnielle discusses his cheerfully desolate song lyrics and his respect for suicidal mountain goats.
10/06/2009
04:32
The Colbert Report
S5
Formula 401: A Star Is Born
Your baby can look like whichever celebrity Stephen impersonates while creating Formula 401: A Star Is Born.
10/06/2009
01:09
The Colbert Report
S5
New Swine Flu Vaccine Drops
The swine flu vaccine shoots straight to the top of the vaccine charts, blowing away Japanese encephalitis.
10/06/2009
07:10
The Colbert Report
S5
The Road Ahead in Afghanistan - Lara Logan
As President Obama decides how to move forward in Afghanistan, Lara Logan explains the goals of Al Qaeda and the Taliban.
10/06/2009
00:38
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 10/7/09
Doctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.
10/07/2009
02:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Eye Tooth
Doctors enable a blind woman to see again by jamming her own tooth into her eye.
10/07/2009
00:38
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Jasper T. Jowls
Stephen accidentally lapses into his old routine as the voice of an animatronic banjo dog at Chuck E. Cheese's.
10/07/2009
05:45
The Colbert Report
S5
Tip/Wag - Conservapedia, Louvre & Honda Unicycle
Stephen wants to be a biblical figure on Conservapedia, the Louvre announces its plans to install a McDonald's, and Honda introduces a unicycle of the future.
10/07/2009
06:40
The Colbert Report
S5
Alison Gopnik
Alison Gopnik says babies are already as smart as they can be and have incredibly powerful ways of learning about the world.
10/07/2009
03:37
The Colbert Report
S5
Human Sacrifice Channel
What kind of cable package does Samuel Alito have that he can watch the Human Sacrifice Channel, and why can't Stephen get it?
10/07/2009
02:52
The Colbert Report
S5
Kevin the Iranian Intern
An Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the U.S., and Stephen introduces his new intern, Kevin.
10/08/2009
04:04
The Colbert Report
S5
Sport Report - Rush Limbaugh & Ted Williams' Frozen Head
Rush Limbaugh makes a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams, and cryogenics employees play baseball with Ted Williams' frozen head.
10/08/2009
04:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Colin Beavan
Colin Beavan spent a year making no environmental impact in the hope of finding a way to live that's better for the planet.
10/08/2009
06:58
The Colbert Report
S5
Bend It Like Beck
Stephen understands what Glenn Beck is going through when the media doubts his sincerity.
10/08/2009
00:35
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 10/8/09
The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.
10/08/2009
00:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Sign Off - Buddy System
Stephen wants you to pair up until he sees you again in 72 hours.
10/08/2009
00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Happy Columbus Day
In exchange for spices from the West Indies, Christopher Columbus gave the natives discount mattresses and smallpox.
10/12/2009
05:59
The Colbert Report
S5
Fallback Position - James Blake
James Blake overcomes Stephen's total lack of athletic ability to transform him into a tennis champion.
10/12/2009
07:17
The Colbert Report
S5
War of Peace - Shashi Tharoor
Shashi Tharoor believes President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for giving hope to people around the world.
10/12/2009
02:23
The Colbert Report
S5
Exclusive - Tennis Lesson With James Blake
Stephen learns that tennis is an anything goes free-for-all where deuce is good and love is bad.
10/12/2009
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