The Colbert Report
The Word - The America Conventions
Season 2 • 07/12/2006
There is only one set of rules in the American war on terror: the America Conventions.
Coddling Our KidsThe Colbert ReportS2
Getting hit in the face with a utility ball teaches you something about life -- it teaches you not to get hit in the face with a utility ball.
The Word - PsychopharmaparentingThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen doesn't know the long-term effects of medicating kids, but he does know the long-term effects it will have on the pharmaceutical industry.
Intro - 7/11/06The Colbert ReportS2
This show is dedicated to our kids: what the hell is wrong with them?
Stephen R.A.P.S. - Talkin' to KidsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen's spent enough time talking to parents, now it's time to loosen the tie and talk to some troubled teens.
Stephen Colbert's World of ColbertCraftThe Colbert ReportS2
"Stephen Colbert's World of ColbertCraft" will be even more popular than his previous video game, "Stephen Colbert's Escape from Skateboard Mountain."
Intro - 7/12/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen reports on the Supreme Court enforcing the Geneva Conventions, questions Washington State Congressman Rick Larsen, and interviews publisher Mort Zuckerman.
Massachusetts - GaysraelThe Colbert ReportS2
The best way to protect marriage is to ban gay marriage in all states, but Massachusetts -- creating a Gaysrael.
Mort ZuckermanThe Colbert ReportS2
Mort Zuckerman believes that George W. Bush is an awful president but feels that John Kerry would have been worse.
Sign Off - Space OpenThe Colbert ReportS2
Mort Zuckerman is removed from the on notice board, but there is now room for enemies of freedom.
Better Know a District - Washington's 2nd - Rick LarsenThe Colbert ReportS2
Congressman Rick Larsen doesn't support the proposed wall to separate the United States from Canada.
The Word - The America ConventionsThe Colbert ReportS2
If the Swiss had their way, every war would be fought with a tiny knife, a nail file, a magnifying glass and a toothpick.
Intro - 7/13/06The Colbert ReportS2
Joe Lieberman faces a tough challenge in the Democratic primary, the Senate eases a ban on prescription drugs from Canada, and Stephen interviews author Ron Suskind.
ThreatDown - Gay ClonesThe Colbert ReportS2
The guy who played Anakin Beefstroker in "Sperm Wars II: Attack of the Bones" was actually better than Hayden Christensen.
The Word - InquisitionThe Colbert ReportS2
Connecticut, you chose Joe Lieberman in 1988; you can't just say 'oops, I made a mistake' and elect another Democrat.
TV's New LowThe Colbert ReportS2
If you aren't watching The Colbert Report because you're busy guarding our borders, you can buy 16 episodes on iTunes for $9.99.
Ron SuskindThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen explains to author Ron Suskind that if we didn't invade someone, we would have tripped over our preparedness.
Sign Off - LemonsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen reminds everyone that if God gives you lemons, you must be a bad person.
Lee SilverThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen makes sure Princeton professor Lee Silver knows that he doesn't know more than Stephen does about genetic engineering.
Intro - 7/17/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen talks about the crisis in the Middle East, reports on Arizona's new voting proposal, and interviews author Lee Silver.
The Word - T & AThe Colbert ReportS2
There's only one thing that truly unites mankind -- the objectification of womankind.
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