The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 08/13/2009
Mark Devlin launches balloon-borne telescopes into space to measure heat in the sky.
The Colbert ReportS5 Americans Sacrifice Their iPods
Stephen saves the environment by donating his old iPod to an endangered mountain snail.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 8/12/09
Americans speak Glenn Beck's mind at town hall meetings, and Mark Johnson spreads peace through music.
The Colbert ReportS5 Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - Obama, NRA & Teen Choice Awards
Barack Obama awards the Medal of Freedom to Sidney Poitier, the NRA recognizes Sarah Palin for gun collecting, and Joe Jonas steals Stephen's idea at the "Teen Choice Awards."
The Colbert ReportS5 Formidable Opponent - Health Care & Burger King
Stephen denies ever saying Aetna is a bigger threat to America than Osama bin Laden, and Stephen heckles a Burger King commercial.
The Colbert ReportS5 Mark Johnson
Mark Johnson explores the way music helps us persevere through struggles with his movement, "Playing for Change."
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Stephen's Online Information
Stephen's online password is always "actionman4" and his MasterCard security code is 786.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sheila Jackson-Lee Takes a Phone Call
Sheila Jackson-Lee interrupting a cancer survivor to answer her phone looks bad, but it was a very important call.
The Colbert ReportS5 Glenn-Harried Glenn-Lost
Glenn Beck didn't call President Obama a racist, and he didn't compare his health care plan to Hitler's eugenics program.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 8/13/09
Glenn Beck loses his sponsors, and Mark Devlin uses giant balloons to life telescopes to the edge of space.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - Blue M&Ms, Vitamin D & Hormones
Blue M&Ms heal spinal injuries in rats, kids spend too much time indoors, and all women need hormones.
The Colbert ReportS5 Mark Devlin
Mark Devlin sends giant weather balloons into space to learn about galaxies that are billions of light years away.
The Colbert ReportS5 Even Better-er Know a District - Colorado's 2nd - Jared Polis
Jared Polis didn't announce that he was gay as a political ploy to get elected in a liberal district.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bill McKibben
Bill McKibben urges international leaders to take steps to lower the world's carbon dioxide levels through his 350.org movement.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 8/17/09
Reporters get so desperate they'll even work for a newspaper, and Bill McKibben lowers carbon dioxide levels by not exhaling when he talks.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Must-Be TV
If pundits want to save America, they have to do what's wrong to prove they're right.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama Publishes Health Care Op-Ed
President Obama publishing an op-ed in the New York Times on health care reform is a textbook sign of surrender.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - German Campaign, Russian Dogs & Flying Rabbis
Vera Lengsfeld uses sex to campaign in Germany, Russian dogs take the subway, and flying rabbis ward off swine flu.
The Colbert ReportS5 Robert Wright
Robert Wright believes that the three major religions can help God move toward a level of tolerance and compassion.
The Colbert ReportS5 Hamid Karzai Endorsement
Hamid Karzai locks up the key human rights abusers demographic with an endorsement from warlord Abdul Rashid Dostum.
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