The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Stephen Wins!

Season 5 • 06/27/2001

A "patient's bill of rights" is a prescription for a recipe for disaster.

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01:49

Ver-Man
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Vermont Senator is able to find time to change his political allegiances, but not his own homepage.
06/26/2001
05:12

Johnny Knoxville
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Johnny Knoxville comes by to shoot the poo.
06/26/2001
02:17

Cell on Wheels
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

You know that thing you do while you're eating a danish, drinking coffee, and putting on your make-up, oh yeah, driving?
06/26/2001
03:43

Get Out of Dodge?
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Who doesn't want to live in a country where children don't have things thrown at them???
06/26/2001
02:38

Back in Black - Dog Camp
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

If Lewis Black wants to see an out-of-shape guy prance around in a short skirt he'll look in the mirror.
06/27/2001
04:30

Jet Li
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Jet Li talks about the martial arts regime he started when he was eight years old.
06/27/2001
01:27

According to a New Study - Sex, Violence and Forgetfulness
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Scientists determine that anyone who views a Carrot Top "1-800-Collect" commercial can think of nothing else but violence.
06/27/2001
00:17

Moment of Zen - Hollarin'
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

A woman contestant at a South Carolina hollarin' contest.
06/27/2001
01:37

Jet Li Flinch
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Meeting Jet Li backstage makes Jon very nervous.
06/27/2001
04:05

Horse Case Scenario
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

A horse gives birth to a freak of nature and South Dakota is with '"stupid."
06/27/2001
04:10

Stephen Wins!
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

A "patient's bill of rights" will shift the balance of power away from the bureaucratic soul-less HMOs and give it to law firms -- that's good.
06/27/2001
02:06

NBA Draft
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Stephen Colbert insists that the NBA minimum age requirement should be no higher than 18 or 13, because kids at that age are going to need the cash.
06/28/2001
03:22

Headlines - Secret Papers or Plastic?
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Ex-army colonel and grocery store clerk George Trofimoff is bagged for selling secrets to the Soviet Union during the Cold War and is jailed 33 years later.
06/28/2001
06:02

Bridget Fonda
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

A tired Bridget Fonda visits a tired Jon to discuss impish co-star Jet Li and how she sees her words mistranslated in the French city of Montreal.
06/28/2001
03:59

We Love Showbiz - Stone's Dragon
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The New York Post breaks how Julia Roberts breaks up with her husband, and Steve and Nancy love Angelina Jolie's and Sharon Stone's vagina.
06/28/2001
00:15

Moment of Zen - Angelina Lips
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Nancy Walls fake interviews Angelina Jolie on her new movie Tomb Raider, and tries to emulate those famous lips.
06/28/2001
00:41

Were You Aware? - John Rocker
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Corks are popping in Georgia as ace relief pitcher John Rocker is traded to the Cleveland Indians one year after denigrating immigrants and homosexuals.
06/28/2001
00:30

Recap - Wizards
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Washington Wizards #1 draft pick Kwame Brown reminds Jon of his own experiences in high school.
06/28/2001
01:57

Headlines - Kid 'N' Play
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Giant teenagers dominate the NBA Draft, where tiny Jewish NBA commissioner David Stern welcomes Kwame Brown, and Jon is disappointed with his position.
06/28/2001
03:10

Condit Err
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS6

Sadly, the full extent of Congressman Gary Condit and the missing Chandra Levy's sexual affair is unknown.
07/09/2001
04:31

Headlines - National Lampoon's Vacation
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS6

President George W. Bush goes golfing on vacation, and Congressman Gary Condit confesses to a relationship with a missing Washington, D.C. intern.
07/09/2001
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