The Colbert Report
Armed and Ready
Season 2 • 04/26/2006
The Colbert Nation has a nuclear program underway.
Sam HarrisThe Colbert ReportS2
Sam Harris reminds Stephen that we're all atheists with respect to Poseidon.
Sign Off - Bush ClockThe Colbert ReportS2
It's almost midnight on the East Coast, which means soon there will be only 999 days left in the Bush presidency.
The Word - PanamaThe Colbert ReportS2
Like the Bush administration, celebrities should never try anything new.
Fract - Middle NameThe Colbert ReportS2
In 1983, Stephen legally changed his middle name.
ThreatDown - Tom HanksThe Colbert ReportS2
Tom Hanks' latest movie questions the divinity of Jesus -- not to mention, what's with the hair?
Better Know a District - Georgia's 11th - Phil GingreyThe Colbert ReportS2
Representative Phil Gingrey won in Newt Gingrich's old district when voters confused their last names.
Intro - 4/26/06The Colbert ReportS2
In tonight's episode, "The Star Spangled Banner" is translated into Spanish, and Sebastian Junger discusses his cheery book on the Boston Strangler.
Sebastian JungerThe Colbert ReportS2
Sebastian Junger is even more rugged in person than he appears on the back of his books.
The Word - EnglishThe Colbert ReportS2
Our national anthem is now a ditty for immigrants to sing as they stream across our broken borders.
Sign Off - YellowcakeThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen has slam dunk intelligence on Joe Scarborough's nuclear program.
Armed and ReadyThe Colbert ReportS2
"Hannity & Colmes" have the bomb, and Stephen is not about to let that stand.
Snow: InformerThe Colbert ReportS2
With the appointment of Tony Snow as White House Press Secretary, Stephen positions himself for a job in Homeland Security.
Bill KristolThe Colbert ReportS2
Neocon Bill Kristol makes some friends on the Upper West Side with a prediction that the Democrats will take the House in the upcoming election.
All You Need to Know - Sleight of HandThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen demonstrates how David Copperfield escaped a mugging without losing his belongings.
Sign Off - The NFL DraftThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen looks forward to a nice relaxing weekend where he can watch wall-to-wall coverage of the NFL's ode to slavery.
PlagiarismThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen reads a passage from a Tek Jansen adventure to illustrate the perils of plagiarism.
The Word - White GlovesThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen puts up a decoy Word to piss the women off and have them do the fighting for men.
Intro - 4/27/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen ponders how Tony Snow will make the jump from FOX News to Republican apologist, and neocon pundit Bill Kristol stops by.
Tip/Wag - ExxonThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen wags his finger at Chicago for providing the worst treatment of fowl since Mallard Fillmore's death.
Intro - 5/1/06The Colbert ReportS2
George Clooney speaking out about Darfur is the worst thing to happen since Paul Newman spoke out against the atrocities of the Hidden Valley ranch.
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