The Colbert Report

Armed and Ready

Season 2 • 04/26/2006

The Colbert Nation has a nuclear program underway.

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06:40

Sam Harris
The Colbert ReportS2

Sam Harris reminds Stephen that we're all atheists with respect to Poseidon.
04/25/2006
00:29

Sign Off - Bush Clock
The Colbert ReportS2

It's almost midnight on the East Coast, which means soon there will be only 999 days left in the Bush presidency.
04/25/2006
02:51

The Word - Panama
The Colbert ReportS2

Like the Bush administration, celebrities should never try anything new.
04/25/2006
00:05

Fract - Middle Name
The Colbert ReportS2

In 1983, Stephen legally changed his middle name.
04/25/2006
05:26

ThreatDown - Tom Hanks
The Colbert ReportS2

Tom Hanks' latest movie questions the divinity of Jesus -- not to mention, what's with the hair?
04/25/2006
06:40

Better Know a District - Georgia's 11th - Phil Gingrey
The Colbert ReportS2

Representative Phil Gingrey won in Newt Gingrich's old district when voters confused their last names.
04/26/2006
00:36

Intro - 4/26/06
The Colbert ReportS2

In tonight's episode, "The Star Spangled Banner" is translated into Spanish, and Sebastian Junger discusses his cheery book on the Boston Strangler.
04/26/2006
05:06

Sebastian Junger
The Colbert ReportS2

Sebastian Junger is even more rugged in person than he appears on the back of his books.
04/26/2006
03:16

The Word - English
The Colbert ReportS2

Our national anthem is now a ditty for immigrants to sing as they stream across our broken borders.
04/26/2006
00:17

Sign Off - Yellowcake
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen has slam dunk intelligence on Joe Scarborough's nuclear program.
04/26/2006
04:11

Armed and Ready
The Colbert ReportS2

"Hannity & Colmes" have the bomb, and Stephen is not about to let that stand.
04/26/2006
02:09

Snow: Informer
The Colbert ReportS2

With the appointment of Tony Snow as White House Press Secretary, Stephen positions himself for a job in Homeland Security.
04/27/2006
07:02

Bill Kristol
The Colbert ReportS2

Neocon Bill Kristol makes some friends on the Upper West Side with a prediction that the Democrats will take the House in the upcoming election.
04/27/2006
03:04

All You Need to Know - Sleight of Hand
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen demonstrates how David Copperfield escaped a mugging without losing his belongings.
04/27/2006
01:36

Sign Off - The NFL Draft
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen looks forward to a nice relaxing weekend where he can watch wall-to-wall coverage of the NFL's ode to slavery.
04/27/2006
02:01

Plagiarism
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen reads a passage from a Tek Jansen adventure to illustrate the perils of plagiarism.
04/27/2006
03:47

The Word - White Gloves
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen puts up a decoy Word to piss the women off and have them do the fighting for men.
04/27/2006
00:32

Intro - 4/27/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen ponders how Tony Snow will make the jump from FOX News to Republican apologist, and neocon pundit Bill Kristol stops by.
04/27/2006
04:05

Tip/Wag - Exxon
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen wags his finger at Chicago for providing the worst treatment of fowl since Mallard Fillmore's death.
05/01/2006
00:35

Intro - 5/1/06
The Colbert ReportS2

George Clooney speaking out about Darfur is the worst thing to happen since Paul Newman spoke out against the atrocities of the Hidden Valley ranch.
05/01/2006
01:23

Sign Off - Spam
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen salutes the anniversary of spam e-mail with an addition to his bookshelf.
05/01/2006
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