The Colbert Report

Tek Jansen - Space Station Theta-Zeus-Aquarius

Season 2 E 129 • 10/11/2006

Tek Jansen is dispatched to Space Station Theta-Zeus-Aquarius to rendezvous with the Hgbwian envoy.

More

Watching

01:44

Sign Off - Mrs. Colbert
The Colbert ReportS2 E128

In Stephen's book, every person in the country is Miss America. No, better -- Mrs. Colbert.
10/10/2006
04:46

Stephen R.A.P.S. - Gender Issues
The Colbert ReportS2 E128

Stephen heads out into the audience to take on a few tough questions about gender, which he doesn't see.
10/10/2006
05:18

Green Screen - George Lucas
The Colbert ReportS2 E129

Witness the groundbreaking meeting between Stephen and Jar Jar Binks!
10/11/2006
02:53

Green Screen Challenge - The Winner
The Colbert ReportS2 E129

Green Screen Challenge entries are graded according to 58 criteria including originality and poise. Can Bonnie R. post a perfect score to beat George L.'s near-perfect 39.9?
10/11/2006
00:36

Intro - 10/11/06
The Colbert ReportS2 E129

Google buys YouTube, a new Tek Jansen adventure is aired, and Stephen announces the winner of the Green Screen Challenge.
10/11/2006
01:01

Stephen Cashes In
The Colbert ReportS2 E129

Stephen estimates that the 2,600 videos of him on YouTube are about a third of the total -- so he's owed a third of the $1.65 billion from the site's sale to Google.
10/11/2006
02:37

Green Screen Challenge - The Final Cut
The Colbert ReportS2 E129

Stephen's set to announce the winner of the Green Screen Challenge -- but not without paying tribute, in montage form, to the many heroes who submitted entries.
10/11/2006
05:18

Green Screen Challenge - The Finalists
The Colbert ReportS2 E129

Stephen shows the entries from the two finalists, Bonnie R. of Torrance, CA, and George L. of Marin County, CA.
10/11/2006
02:39

Shout Out! - From Baghdad to The Report
The Colbert ReportS2 E129

Stephen sends a shout out to three army soldiers who've replaced the sign pointing to Baghdad with a sign pointing to The Colbert Report's studio.
10/11/2006
00:32

Lightsaber Duel
The Colbert ReportS2 E129

Stephen has a lightsaber duel with George Lucas.
10/11/2006
04:14

Tek Jansen - Space Station Theta-Zeus-Aquarius
The Colbert ReportS2 E129

Tek Jansen is dispatched by Senator Depaaa to Space Station Theta-Zeus-Aquarius to rendezvous with the Hgbwian envoy, and now must park his space cruiser.
10/11/2006
00:31

Intro - 10/12/06
The Colbert ReportS2 E130

Tonight: North Korean threats, New Jersey's 4th district and Governor Brian Schweitzer.
10/12/2006
00:11

Sign Off - Revved Up
The Colbert ReportS2 E130

Stephen says that if this show hasn't gotten you revved up for some lovemaking, it's hopeless.
10/12/2006
04:55

Gay Republicans - Andrew Sullivan
The Colbert ReportS2 E130

Andrew Sullivan is the only gay conservative Stephen knows, but Stephen thought that traditional conservatives were closeted homosexuals.
10/12/2006
05:59

Better Know a Challenger - New Jersey's 4th - Carol Gay
The Colbert ReportS2 E130

New Jersey's 4th District Congressman Christopher Smith wouldn't sit down with Stephen, but his challenger, Carol Gay, would.
10/12/2006
05:39

Brian Schweitzer
The Colbert ReportS2 E130

Stephen is disappointed to learn from Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer that the state has given into the Feds and adopted speed limits.
10/12/2006
01:42

Congratulatory Mail
The Colbert ReportS2 E130

Stephen has received the first piece of congratulatory mail for the one-year anniversary of The Report. Enclosed is two dollars, which he intends to keep.
10/12/2006
01:15

North Korean Weapons Test Scare
The Colbert ReportS2 E130

An earthquake in Southeast Asia prompted fears that North Korea was testing another nuclear weapon. Stephen says Kim Jong-il should bring it on.
10/12/2006
06:50

Jeff Swartz
The Colbert ReportS2 E144

CEO of Timberland, Jeff Swartz, argues that you can run a corporation and have a positive impact on the environment at the same time.
10/14/2006
04:01

The Word - Expecting
The Colbert ReportS2 E144

Stephen suggests that the Republican senators who lost their seats be impregnated with a womb transplant to save the embryos they wanted to destroy.
10/14/2006
03:25

Stephen Jr. in Canada
The Colbert ReportS2 E144

Since his release from captivity, Stephen Jr. has ventured off to Canada, but with your help, Stephen thinks we can get him to come back to America.
10/14/2006
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022