The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 11/03/2009
Andrew Sullivan lists Barack Obama's achievements one year into his presidency.
The Colbert ReportS5 Alpha Dog of the Week - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger comes up with the dirtiest hidden word puzzle since they discontinued the kid's menu at Hooters.
The Colbert ReportS5 Used Karzai
Hamid Karzai is declared the winner of the Afghan election after Abdullah Abdullah withdraws from the race.
The Colbert ReportS5 Nicholas Thompson
Nicholas Thompson describes the lives of two friends -- Paul Nitze and George Kennan -- battling over the U.S. approach to the Cold War.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - NYC Marathon & Olympic Speedskating
An American finally wins the New York City marathon, and the Colbert Nation becomes the official sponsor of the U.S. Speedskating team.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Donate to the U.S. Speedskating Team
Make sure that it's America's 38-inch thighs on the Olympics medal platform by donating to the U.S. speedskating team.
The Colbert ReportS5 Canadian Hackers Sabotage Colbert Nation
Despite Canadian hackers taking down the donations link, you heroes have already raised $40,000 for the U.S. Speedskating team.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - They Call Me Mister Fry
If you are going to be in New York, check out "They Call Me Mister Fry" at the Comic Strip Live.
The Colbert ReportS5 Nailed 'Em - Mormon Church Trespassing
The Mormon Church arrested Derek Jones and Matt Aune for criminal trespassing, not for being gay.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - The Green Mile
The rest of America should follow Arizona's lead and replace the long arm of the law with the invisible hand of the market.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/3/09
Stephen thinks it's racist that there's no Pepper Lake City, and Andrew Sullivan talks about Obama's accomplishments.
The Colbert ReportS5 Andrew Sullivan
Andrew Sullivan details Barack Obama's achievements in improved international relations, health care reform and bipartisanship.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/5/09
Canadian athletes dope with beaver musk to gain an unfair advantage at the Winter Games, and William Bratton runs from the law.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/4/09
Stephen takes a wait-and-swim approach to global warming and talks to Harold Evans about the newspaper business.
The Colbert ReportS5 Formidable Opponent - Global Warming With Al Gore
Al Gore explains to Stephen and Stephen and Al Gore that stopping global warming doesn't have to hurt the economy.
The Colbert ReportS5 Harold Evans
Harold Evans talks about being married to Tina Brown, getting knighted by the queen and exposing spies in the British government.
The Colbert ReportS5 Guy-Fawkers
Michele Bachmann one-ups the tea party protests by holding a health care reform rally on Guy Fawkes Day.
The Colbert ReportS5 '09 Off-Year Semi-Presidential Electferendum
Barack Obama loses the New Jersey and Virginia gubernatorial races, and Chris Christie uses Monty Python to attack Jon Corzine.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Rush Limbaugh & Us Weekly
Rush Limbaugh has no clue about who will beat Barack Obama in 2012, and Us Weekly judges celebrities' kids on their appearance.
The Colbert ReportS5 William Bratton
William Bratton works to take the American police force model to emerging democracies and post-conflict nations.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - Swine Flu Scam Detector & Vaxaconda
The Prescott Swine Flu Scam Detector exposes fake treatments, while Vaxaconda prevents kidney failure and rodent infestations.
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