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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Joe Arpaio
Season 5 • 04/20/2009
Joe Arpaio says he's an equal opportunity law enforcement guy.
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Watching
06:11
The Colbert Report
S5
The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
There's a giant gay storm gathering, and before long the winds will be blowing each other.
04/16/2009
00:03
The Colbert Report
S5
Goodnight Salute
Goodnight, everybody.
04/16/2009
06:01
The Colbert Report
S5
Douglas Kmiec
Douglas Kmiec doesn't want the state to adopt any religion's perspective and impose it on Americans.
04/16/2009
02:11
The Colbert Report
S5
Teabagging Protests
Perverts sully the patriotic act of a taxpayer rising up, standing over his government and delivering his opinion into the mouth of power.
04/16/2009
02:52
The Colbert Report
S5
Maersk Alabama - Ken Quinn
Second Mate Ken Quinn and Stephen are returning to sea to hunt pirates in a two-man paddleboat.
04/20/2009
00:16
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen's Only Regrets
Stephen's only regret is all the great stuff that was cut out because the audience wouldn't stop cheering.
04/20/2009
03:17
The Colbert Report
S5
Anger's Aweigh
Granting vigilantes the right to shoot pirates on the high seas is the free market at its best.
04/20/2009
03:51
The Colbert Report
S5
Tip/Wag - Texas Secession & MACA
Texas Governor Rick Perry wants to secede, and MACA urges the Obamas to use pesticides in their organic garden.
04/20/2009
00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/20/09
How to deal with the scourge of piracy -- if only there were a form of transportation besides boats.
04/20/2009
01:56
The Colbert Report
S5
Castro Death Wish List
Stephen wants to force feed Castro hot dogs and make him watch "This Week with George Stephanopoulos."
04/20/2009
07:00
The Colbert Report
S5
Joe Arpaio
Sheriff Joe Arpaio denies that he focuses too much on illegal immigration.
04/20/2009
06:32
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Stressed Position
Americans will get justice for torture without making any of the good guys pay the price.
04/21/2009
03:12
The Colbert Report
S5
George Will's Demon Denim
George Will launches a righteous attack against Satan's denim leg tubes.
04/21/2009
03:44
The Colbert Report
S5
Who's Riding My Coattails Now? - Blown Away by the USA
Act now and receive Stephen's patriotic CD collection: "Blown Away by the USA," "Stunned by the States" and "Flabbergasted by the Flag."
04/21/2009
00:29
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/21/09
President Obama releases CIA torture memos. It's like the greatest hits of our greatest hits.
04/21/2009
05:22
The Colbert Report
S5
Mike Krzyzewski
Mike Krzyzewski differentiates between teamwork and socialism.
04/21/2009
00:17
The Colbert Report
S5
Special DVD Commentary
Stephen offers special DVD commentary for those who recorded tonight's show and burned it onto a DVD.
04/21/2009
06:00
The Colbert Report
S5
Ira Glass
Stephen wants to know if Ira Glass will be just as lifeless hosting a live cinema performance as he is on the radio.
04/22/2009
00:35
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/22/09
President Obama returns from the Summit of the Americas, and Stephen looks forward to making fun of Ira Glass' glasses.
04/22/2009
02:03
The Colbert Report
S5
"The Price Is Right" Goes Green
Stephen bids less than a dollar on environmentally friendly prizes.
04/22/2009
05:33
The Colbert Report
S5
Summit of All Fears
Esteban Colberto believes Barack Obama has bigger plantains to fry than the Summit of the Americas.
04/22/2009
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Comedian and seasoned Daily Show veteran Roy Wood Jr. leads the field and steps behind the desk as guest host, starting Monday at 11/10c.
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Awkwafina is Nora from Queens
S3
Awkwafina is Nora from Queens Really Goes for It on Season 3
Nora is really, really, really trying to be an adult this time, and the results speak for themselves when Season 3 of Awkwafina is Nora from Queens premieres April 26 at 10:30/9:30c.
03/30/2023
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Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack
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10/12/2022
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A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie
Derek Hale finds himself fighting for his life when a skilled hunter tracks down him and his son Eli in Teen Wolf: The Movie, premiering Thursday, January 26, 2023, on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41
Cursed Friends
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022