The Colbert Report
The Word - Just Don't Do It
Season 5 • 06/04/2009
President Obama wants to replace abstinence-only sex education with condoms for toddlers.
The Colbert ReportS5 Eric Schlosser - "Food, Inc."
Eric Schlosser, co-producer of the documentary film "Food, Inc.," talks about the link between the rise of factory farms in the U.S. and the heightened risk of foodborne illnesses.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - I Do, You Don't
All marriages shouldn't be equal, but there should be so many separate kinds of marriage that the gays don't feel singled out.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 6/3/09
California allows some gay couples to stay married, and Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - 4th of July, Craig T. Nelson & GM
Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July, Craig T. Nelson stands up against big government, and GM fires its robots.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - "The Hollow Men"
This is the way the show ends Not with a bang but a whimper.
The Colbert ReportS5 We Have a Death Star!
Now that America has a Death Star, Stephen works on his telekinetic choking abilities.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 6/4/09
Wikipedia takes on the Church of Scientology, and the latest on abstinence-only education will be worth the wait.
The Colbert ReportS5 Wikipedia Bans Scientologists
Wikipedia bans Scientologists after finding Tom Cruise's entry listing him as 5'10".
The Colbert ReportS5 Dag Soderberg
Dag Soderberg takes the Bible out of the bookshop and onto the coffee table with "Bible Illuminated."
The Colbert ReportS5 Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - External Lungs
External lungs increase office productivity by allowing employees to send them outside for a smoke break.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Just Don't Do It
Teens, sex is as natural as the birds and the bees because you will be stung to death and have your eyes violently pecked out.
The Colbert ReportS5 Operation Iraqi Stephen - John McCain
Stephen is thrilled to bring his show to Iraq, and John McCain has a word of advice for the troops.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen Strong - Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 1
Stephen doesn't get any special treatment when he participates in 10 full hours of basic training.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - New Haircut
Stephen offers thanks to the U.S.O. for helping him get to Iraq and to General Ray Odierno for his new haircut.
The Colbert ReportS5 Operation Iraqi Stephen - Mysterious Trip
It's not a hoax after all -- Stephen mysteriously makes his way to Baghdad, Iraq.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Why Are You Here?
You will all want to remember where you were when you heard Stephen declare victory in Iraq.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama Orders Stephen's Haircut - Ray Odierno
Under direct orders from Commander-in-Chief Barack Obama, General Ray Odierno shaves Stephen's head.
The Colbert ReportS5 Operation Iraqi Stephen - S.H.
The initials carved into the ceiling and pillars of the Water Palace shouldn't stand for Saddam Hussein anymore.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tareq Salha & Robin Balcom
Specialist Tareq Salha and Sgt. Robin Balcom don't look anything like the soldiers from WWII movies.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen Strong - Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 2
As much as Stephen doesn't want to admit it, it's time for him to graduate from basic training.
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