The Colbert Report

Cheating Death - R.J. Reynolds, Genzyme & Bionic Bottom

Season 5 • 12/02/2009

Some drugs made by Genzyme contain trash, and a man regulates his bowel movements with a remote.

More

Watching

06:00

Gold, Frankincense and Mars - Guy Consolmagno
The Colbert ReportS5

Brother Guy Consolmagno explains why the Vatican accepts the possibility of alien life.
12/01/2009
06:09

Sherman Alexie
The Colbert ReportS5

Sherman Alexie criticizes digital technology for taking away the local celebration and appreciation of books.
12/01/2009
04:22

Better Know a Made-Up District - Connecticut's 42nd
The Colbert ReportS5

Connecticut's 42nd District is located in the middle of the River Styx and is represented by Brad Pitt's character from "Fight Club."
12/01/2009
00:04

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report, everybody.
12/01/2009
00:34

Intro - 12/1/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Catholic Church searches for life on other planets, and Sherman Alexie discusses his book, "War Dances."
12/01/2009
02:53

U.S. Army Chain of Command
The Colbert ReportS5

By sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan, President Obama must be unfamiliar with the chain of command.
12/01/2009
06:39

Deployment Figures
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama's speech to send 30,000 troops to Afghanistan was missing passion and a certain word.
12/02/2009
00:34

Intro - 12/2/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama sends 30,000 troops into Afghanistan, and Craig Watkins overturns old convictions with DNA evidence.
12/02/2009
06:11

Craig Watkins
The Colbert ReportS5

Craig Watkins tries to bring back credibility to the criminal justice system by overturning wrongful convictions.
12/02/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for the show, everybody.
12/02/2009
06:53

Cheating Death - R.J. Reynolds, Genzyme & Bionic Bottom
The Colbert ReportS5

R.J. Reynolds hopes to make money off of quit-smoking aids, Genzyme pills contain trash, and a man regulates his bowel movements via remote control.
12/02/2009
00:31

Intro - 12/3/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Tiger Woods says he's sorry, Stephen has Olympic fever, and Janet Napolitano isn't securing the homeland.
12/03/2009
02:34

Tiger's Tale
The Colbert ReportS5

Tiger Woods didn't realize that cheating is a sacred institution between one man, one woman and one other woman.
12/03/2009
05:26

Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts - Zach Lund
The Colbert ReportS5

Zach Lund gives Stephen the history of skeleton racing before helping him try out for the Olympic team.
12/03/2009
06:04

Janet Napolitano
The Colbert ReportS5

Janet Napolitano discusses America's border security and explains why she doesn't believe in the color-coded terror alert level.
12/03/2009
00:25

Sign Off - Welcome Sean Julien
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen welcomes the newest member of the Colbert Nation, Sean Julien.
12/03/2009
04:30

Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen isn't attending the Vancouver Olympics just to ombud -- he's going as a member of the U.S. Olympic team.
12/03/2009
04:39

Tip/Wag - Jonas Brothers, Fox News & Japanese Burger King
The Colbert ReportS5

The Jonas Brothers promote the Xbox 360, Fox News enforces a new accuracy pledge, and Japanese Burger Kings sell a Windows 7 Whopper.
12/07/2009
02:05

Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Tongue-Eating Parasite
The Colbert ReportS5

Scientists discover a parasitic fish off the coast of New Jersey that survives by eating and replacing the host's tongue.
12/07/2009
04:49

Bill T. Jones
The Colbert ReportS5

Bill T. Jones describes how Fela Kuti fought against the Nigerian government with his music.
12/07/2009
00:35

Intro - 12/7/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen inflates his neck pouch to scare off predators and wonders what Disney movie "Fela!" is based on.
12/07/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
00:30

XXXI Days of Announcing the Holidays

Andrew Catalon of CBS Sports rings in the holiday season with expert commentary on the festive shows, movies and specials airing all December long!
12/01/2023
Trailer
01:43

"South Park: Snow Day!" Video Game Showcases New Gameplay
South Park

"South Park: Snow Day!" immerses players in a new art style, bringing your favorite characters to life while exploring classic locations from the show, now available to preorder in-store.
12/01/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022