The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Taser

Season 7 • 04/26/2011

Stephen signs off with his taser.

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02:23

Obama Needs Charts and Graphs
The Colbert ReportS7

Barack Obama needs to use graphs and charts in his speeches if he wants to keep people's attention.
04/14/2011
05:11

Obama's Tax Return & Road to the Trump House
The Colbert ReportS7

President Obama makes his tax return public, and Donald Trump's special relationship with "the blacks" goes back decades.
04/25/2011
05:19

Ron Paul
The Colbert ReportS7

Ron Paul defines liberty, criticizes the Federal Reserve and doesn't believe in the income tax.
04/25/2011
06:26

Cheating Death - Vaxa International, Lap-Band Surgery & Restless Leg Syndrome
The Colbert ReportS7

Prescott ends its proud Vaxa line, the FDA approves Lap-Band surgery for the cheerfully obese, and masturbation calms restless leg syndrome.
04/25/2011
00:07

Sign Off - Vacsa-Not-Masturbating
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen alleviates the symptoms of restless leg syndrome with Vacsa-Not-Masturbating.
04/25/2011
03:11

Catholic Bender
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen must accept that he is a functional Roman Catholic after his weekend bender.
04/25/2011
03:56

Mitt Romney's "Peacetime" Gaffe
The Colbert ReportS7

Haley Barbour ends his daring presidential campaign, and Mitt Romney nails Obama on a peacetime spending binge.
04/26/2011
03:25

Charles Manson Believes in Global Warming
The Colbert ReportS7

Charles Manson makes the case for climate change, and Harvey Wayne Wilkes supports Obamacare and cannibalism.
04/26/2011
05:43

A.C. Grayling
The Colbert ReportS7

A.C. Grayling's humanist Bible, "The Good Book," is a collection of great wisdom, but it's nothing Stephen would kill somebody else over.
04/26/2011
00:31

Intro - 4/26/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen can't hear the climate change debate over his crackling tire fire, and A.C. Grayling writes a secular Bible.
04/26/2011
00:05

Sign Off - Taser
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen says goodnight with his taser.
04/26/2011
03:54

Tip/Wag - FAA, Casio Watches & Postal Service
The Colbert ReportS7

The FAA needs to put sleepy air traffic controllers in coach seats, Casio becomes the wristwatch of terrorists, and the postal service prints the wrong Lady Liberty.
04/27/2011
04:14

Anderson Cooper Goes on the Absurd-U-Chart
The Colbert ReportS7

Anderson Cooper and his RidicuList go on the chart reserved for things that Stephen finds offensively absurd.
04/27/2011
05:34

Ice-T
The Colbert ReportS7

Even though Ice-T has never done drugs, Stephen wants to know where to score some pure, uncut street cred.
04/27/2011
00:34

Intro - 4/27/11
The Colbert ReportS7

The new danger in air travel comes with a $25 fee, MSNBC steals CNN's viewer, and Ice-T talks about his memoir.
04/27/2011
05:34

America Needs to See Obama's Report Cards
The Colbert ReportS7

Barack Obama releases his long-form birth certificate, but Donald Trump wants the president's Occidental records.
04/27/2011
00:19

Sign Off - Goodnight in Spanish
The Colbert ReportS7

For tonight's goodnight in Spanish, please pack your bags and leave the country.
04/27/2011
00:32

Intro - 4/28/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen travels to England for the royal wedding, points out the Tower of Buckingham and asks Wade Graham about Covent Garden.
04/28/2011
00:19

Sign Off - Off to the Royal Wedding
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen still doesn't have an invitation to the royal wedding, but he's going anyway.
04/28/2011
05:28

Wade Graham
The Colbert ReportS7

Wade Graham reveals what American gardens in closets with grow lights say about the culture.
04/28/2011
04:37

Homeland Security Eliminates Color-Coded Terror Alert System
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen unclenches his sphincter when he realizes a government color chart no longer validates his paranoia.
04/28/2011
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