The Colbert Report

Peyton Manseed

Season 3 • 02/05/2007

Stephen wants to team up with Peyton Manning to improve his Formula 401.

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01:47

The Colbert ReportS3
Cartoon Terrorism

A publicity stunt for Aqua Teen Hunger Force caused a terrorism scare in Boston. What's more, it also ruined several marketing campaigns that Stephen had planned.
02/01/2007
01:36

The Colbert ReportS3
The Most Poetic F@#king Thing I've Ever Heard

Rainbow covered bridges paved with babies' dreams has nothing on moths that drink the tears of sleeping magpies. That's the most poetic f**king thing Stephen has ever heard.
02/01/2007
00:32

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 2/1/07

Tom Tancredo has plans to get rid of the congressional black caucus, Stephen's getting sick from the Oscars and Chuck Schumer has advice for the Democrats.
02/01/2007
03:22

The Colbert ReportS3
Ending Racism

In response to a remark by Frank Hargrove, Stephen apologizes for racism and bids farewell to it with a video montage.
02/01/2007
03:45

The Colbert ReportS3
Movies That Are Destroying America - Oscars Edition

The Oscars really made Stephen sick this year with movies like "Little Miss Sunshine," "Pan's Labyrinth" and "An Inconvenient Truth."
02/01/2007
00:36

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 2/5/07

Despite global warming, Stephen's freezing his ass off while that bastard Tesla gains another victory, and Wendy Kopp gets schooled by America.
02/05/2007
05:43

The Colbert ReportS3
Wendy Kopp

Stephen's speaks with Teach for America founder Wendy Kopp and suggests that eliminating schools entirely is the best way to achieve equal educational opportunity.
02/05/2007
04:04

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Second Opinion

Stephen is all for the second opinion. If a doctor says he's allergic to shrimp, he finds a doctor that says he's not. He feels the same about scientists and global warming.
02/05/2007
04:32

The Colbert ReportS3
ThreatDown - Giant Mexican Babies

Banning light bulbs, giant Mexicans babies crossing the border, the Miss America pageant and the misrepresentation of bear hugs are all major threats.
02/05/2007
03:08

The Colbert ReportS3
Save Stephen Jr.

Stephen discovers that Stephen Jr. has made it back into the U.S. but fears that Congressman Brian Baird might kill him.
02/05/2007
01:53

The Colbert ReportS3
Peyton Manseed

Stephen is thrilled about the Bears being slaughtered in the Super Bowl and approves of Prince's kosher halftime performance.
02/05/2007
00:29

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 2/6/07

The Pentagon may be doing business with Iran, and Congressman Zack Space can be heard screaming. Plus, Stephen finds out why Charles LeDuff doesn't do Internet dating.
02/06/2007
06:00

The Colbert ReportS3
Charles LeDuff

Journalist Charlie LeDuff talks about "US Guys" and tells Stephen that the manliest men in America are in Oklahoma's gay rodeo.
02/06/2007
06:04

The Colbert ReportS3
Better Know a District - Ohio's 18th - Zack Space

Stephen takes a look at Ohio's 18th and speaks with Congressman Zack Space, who has some pretty radical views -- for a Democrat.
02/06/2007
03:30

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Making a Killing

Stephen feels that it's not wrong for the U.S. to sell F-14 fighter jet parts to Iran. They're the only country that uses the jet, so we could make a killing.
02/06/2007
03:52

The Colbert ReportS3
Pray for Stephen

Stephen received a form letter informing him that he is one of the most powerful personalities in media and for this reason he has earned himself a day of being prayed for.
02/06/2007
01:19

The Colbert ReportS3
The San Francisco Treat

After performing same-sex civil ceremonies in San Francisco, Gavin Newsom had an affair, which basically means that the American family is destroyed.
02/07/2007
05:11

The Colbert ReportS3
Tek Jansen - From the Future

Teks from further and further in the future keep showing up to save kids from each other, deliver messages, and have sex (by accident).
02/07/2007
06:37

The Colbert ReportS3
Steven Pinker

Stephen tells Steven Pinker that he doesn't fear evolution because he doesn't believe in it.
02/07/2007
00:36

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 2/7/07

Stephen asks if the Democrats should respond to the Republicans' nonbinding resolution with a nonbinding resolution, and expects to have his mind read by guest Steven Pinker.
02/07/2007
03:47

The Colbert ReportS3
California Values Watch

If Loretta Sanchez's sister Linda is Nicky Hilton, Loretta is Paris.
02/07/2007
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