The Colbert Report
Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Eight-Child Policy
Season 3 • 02/13/2007
To maintain supremacy over China, America's going to have to breed like Mormon squirrels.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/8/07
Stephen finds out if America is ready for a black president and if the Scooter Libby trial is actually a witch hunt. Then, Chris Hedges talks about the bad kind of fascism.
The Colbert ReportS3 Debra Dickerson
Stephen examines whether or not Barack Obama is black with the help of Debra Dickerson.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tip/Wag - John Howard
Stephen tips the hat from the gays to eleven feet of snow and to John Howard, then wags his finger at a talking urinal cake and John Howard.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/12/07
The pentagon may get a second chance to manipulate intelligence, identical snowflakes fall in upstate New York, and the forecast is sunny with a chance of nailing.
The Colbert ReportS3 Michael Oppenheimer
Dr. Michael Oppenheimer says Stephen can help address the climate crisis with only minor sacrifices. Stephen says he's got the wrong guy.
The Colbert ReportS3 Alpha Dog of the Week - Amitabh Bachchan
This week's Alpha Dog is Bollywood film star Amitabh Bachchan, who survived a camel kick to the head due to an indestructible turban.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Inappropriate
An investigator called Douglas Feith's manipulation of intelligence "inappropriate." Stephen thinks that's a compliment.
The Colbert ReportS3 Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Take the Pulse
Stephen takes ordinary Americans' questions about Chinese outsourcing, aphrodisiacs, games, families and bootleg DVDs.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sheryl WuDunn
Stephen asks journalist Sheryl WuDunn whether China is a friend, a foe, or a frenemy.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Frenemy
China is surpassing us everywhere, including in coal consumption, military personnel and executions -- because Texas can't do it alone.
The Colbert ReportS3 Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Eight-Child Policy
China is on the rise, and to maintain supremacy, America's going to have to breed like Mormon squirrels.
The Colbert ReportS3 Lance Armstrong
Stephen asks Lance Armstrong if "Livestrong" isn't a little weak compared to "Livestronger" or "Livestrongest."
The Colbert ReportS3 Safe Sex for Senior Citizens
A New York Times article reports that senior citizens are exploring safe sex. Stephen disapproves, and they're not the only ones Stephen is wishing a sexless Valentine's Day.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Bad Medicine
It used to be easy to scare teens into not having sex by saying things like, "It's a sin," "You could have a baby," or "Your parents do it."
The Colbert ReportS3 Sport Report - Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
It's the time of the year when the real sports -- like the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show -- finally get their share of the spotlight.
The Colbert ReportS3 Stephen Protects Valentine's Day
Stephen knows there's no better time to protect the sanctity of marriage than Valentine's Day, so he presents a montage of some of New York's most loving couples.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/14/07
Political controversy rages over women's health in Texas, Stephen reviews the Westminster Dog Show, and Lance Armstrong explains why he never won the Tour de America.
The Colbert ReportS3 Catching Up With China
Stephen said China had three times as many people at America and urged the Nation to procreate. It turns out China has four times more, so the need is even greater.
The Colbert ReportS3 The 365 Most Influential Cultural Figures of 2007 - Candice Bergen
Stephen is so keyed up for his being prayed for next week, he just can't stop thinking about it -- so he asks Candice Bergen what her prayer day was like.
The Colbert ReportS3 Shashi Tharoor
Shashi Tharoor explains that the UN consists of more than a bunch of blue-helmeted refugee-huggers.
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