The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Ass-ist

Season 5 • 11/13/2000

With two broken arms, Vance DeGeneres asks Jon Stewart to give him a hand.

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01:14

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
This Just In - Jewel and The Gang

Thieves were foiled when they realized the stolen diamond was too big to sneak out in Nigel's ass.
11/09/2000
02:23

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Election Night - Choose and Lose

The people of Palm Beach County are independent minded immigrants from Poland, Russia, the Ukraine and a large constituency from the lower east side in Long Island.
11/09/2000
00:35

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Indecision 2000 - Clinton Laughing

Bill Clinton took time out of his busy schedule to speak to reporters about the election.
11/09/2000
00:18

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Moment of Zen - Three Kinds of Chads

There are three kinds of chads.
11/13/2000
02:46

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Indecision 2000 - The Good, The Chad and The Ugly

The 2000 Presidential election will be decided by Florida Judges, dimpled chads, and the counting skills of part time municipal employees.
11/13/2000
05:18

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Adam Sandler

Surprisingly, for the amount of time they spent wandering in the desert, Jews don't have tough feet.
11/13/2000
00:54

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Today's Stories

Jon Stewart recaps the day's top stories and previews Stephen Colbert's piece tomorrow at the heart of Florida's election crisis.
11/13/2000
00:45

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Indecision 2000 - The Nation of Chad

The African nation of Chad is abuzz and surprised at the affect it is having on American politics.
11/13/2000
01:11

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Indecision 2000 - Movie Taglines

Pregnant of dimpled chads do not officially count as votes in the state of Florida.
11/13/2000
02:17

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Indecision 2000 - Recount

When it comes to deciding who's President, it's better to get it done right than it is to get it done fast.
11/13/2000
05:13

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Ass-ist

To test the effectiveness of the Assist invention Vance DeGeneres had both of his arms broken.
11/13/2000
00:17

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Moment of Zen - Too Raw, Herb?

Senior citizens in Florida enjoy their rib eye lunch.
11/14/2000
04:31

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Patricia Arquette

If things dry up for Patricia Arquette, she's going job hunting in Las Vegas.
11/14/2000
01:03

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Intro - Lack of a President

We don't have a president right now, but we have to stop the insanity.
11/14/2000
01:42

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
This Just In - Air Apparent

The hydrogen-powered automobile is introduced, much to the chagrin of suicide attempters.
11/14/2000
03:23

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Indecision 2000 - The Sunshine Wait

Both candidates would roast their mothers over an open flame and feed the meat to Jesus to get this job.
11/14/2000
00:24

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Recap - 11/14/00

Good thing Jon's sold all his shares of pets.com, or did he?
11/14/2000
04:53

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Indecision 2000 - The Sunshine Wait Pt. 2

A tri-fold moth menu is too confusing, leading to a hand count in Florida.
11/14/2000
02:18

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
This Just In - Dot Bombs

Remember how you felt when your buddy quit his job to become an Internet millionaire? Well good news.
11/14/2000
02:46

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Indecision 2000 - The Sunshine Wait

The Florida recount continues, while Katherine Harris and Warren Christopher squabble over legal procedures.
11/15/2000
00:13

The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5
Moment of Zen - Singing Protest Song

African American women sing a protest song out of sync.
11/15/2000
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