The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Ass-ist

Season 5 • 11/13/2000

With two broken arms, Vance DeGeneres asks Jon Stewart to give him a hand.

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01:14

This Just In - Jewel and The Gang
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Thieves were foiled when they realized the stolen diamond was too big to sneak out in Nigel's ass.
11/09/2000
02:23

Election Night - Choose and Lose
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The people of Palm Beach County are independent minded immigrants from Poland, Russia, the Ukraine and a large constituency from the lower east side in Long Island.
11/09/2000
00:35

Indecision 2000 - Clinton Laughing
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Bill Clinton took time out of his busy schedule to speak to reporters about the election.
11/09/2000
00:18

Moment of Zen - Three Kinds of Chads
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

There are three kinds of chads.
11/13/2000
02:46

Indecision 2000 - The Good, The Chad and The Ugly
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The 2000 Presidential election will be decided by Florida Judges, dimpled chads, and the counting skills of part time municipal employees.
11/13/2000
05:18

Adam Sandler
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Surprisingly, for the amount of time they spent wandering in the desert, Jews don't have tough feet.
11/13/2000
00:54

Today's Stories
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Jon Stewart recaps the day's top stories and previews Stephen Colbert's piece tomorrow at the heart of Florida's election crisis.
11/13/2000
00:45

Indecision 2000 - The Nation of Chad
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The African nation of Chad is abuzz and surprised at the affect it is having on American politics.
11/13/2000
01:11

Indecision 2000 - Movie Taglines
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Pregnant of dimpled chads do not officially count as votes in the state of Florida.
11/13/2000
02:17

Indecision 2000 - Recount
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

When it comes to deciding who's President, it's better to get it done right than it is to get it done fast.
11/13/2000
05:13

Ass-ist
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

To test the effectiveness of the Assist invention Vance DeGeneres had both of his arms broken.
11/13/2000
00:17

Moment of Zen - Too Raw, Herb?
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Senior citizens in Florida enjoy their rib eye lunch.
11/14/2000
04:31

Patricia Arquette
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

If things dry up for Patricia Arquette, she's going job hunting in Las Vegas.
11/14/2000
01:03

Intro - Lack of a President
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

We don't have a president right now, but we have to stop the insanity.
11/14/2000
01:42

This Just In - Air Apparent
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The hydrogen-powered automobile is introduced, much to the chagrin of suicide attempters.
11/14/2000
03:23

Indecision 2000 - The Sunshine Wait
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Both candidates would roast their mothers over an open flame and feed the meat to Jesus to get this job.
11/14/2000
00:24

Recap - 11/14/00
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Good thing Jon's sold all his shares of pets.com, or did he?
11/14/2000
04:53

Indecision 2000 - The Sunshine Wait Pt. 2
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

A tri-fold moth menu is too confusing, leading to a hand count in Florida.
11/14/2000
02:18

This Just In - Dot Bombs
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Remember how you felt when your buddy quit his job to become an Internet millionaire? Well good news.
11/14/2000
02:46

Indecision 2000 - The Sunshine Wait
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The Florida recount continues, while Katherine Harris and Warren Christopher squabble over legal procedures.
11/15/2000
00:13

Moment of Zen - Singing Protest Song
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

African American women sing a protest song out of sync.
11/15/2000
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