The Colbert Report
Intro - 7/16/12
Season 8 • 07/16/2012
Mitt Romney's resume comes under fire, and Anne-Marie Slaughter shares what women can't have.
John Roberts' Obamacare Swing VoteThe Colbert ReportS8
John Roberts' health care vote is the worst betrayal since Benedict Arnold teamed up with Judas to stab Caesar right in the croutons.
Obamacare & The Broccoli ArgumentThe Colbert ReportS8
There is nothing stopping Barack Obama from making Americans gay-marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom, in a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
Colbert Super PAC - Super Fun Pack Treasure FinderThe Colbert ReportS8
Stephen honors Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack's treasure finder, Dan Stough, with an antique silver turtle bell.
Cable News Gaffe on Obamacare Supreme Court RulingThe Colbert ReportS8
The Supreme Court rules Obamacare constitutional, despite CNN and Fox's opposite breaking news.
Aaron SorkinThe Colbert ReportS8
Academy Award-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin talks about the golden age of news, "The West Wing" and what makes America the greatest country.
Mitt Romney's Retroactive Retirement from Bain CapitalThe Colbert ReportS8
If Barack Obama wins the presidential race, Mitt Romney can just say he retroactively retired from it in 2009.
TomKat's Divorce & Anderson Cooper's Sexual OrientationThe Colbert ReportS8
The thetan inhabiting Katie Holmes isn't getting any younger, and torso-American Anderson Cooper could have had perfect caramel-mocha babies.
Sign Off - Smiles or WhateverThe Colbert ReportS8
Stephen hopes The Report incited smiles.
Thought for Food - Caffeine Edition - Funeral Home Starbucks & Car Coffee MakersThe Colbert ReportS8
Nothing soothes the pain of losing a loved one like your eulogy being drowned out by Starbucks employees making frappachinos.
Anne-Marie SlaughterThe Colbert ReportS8
Princeton University professor Anne-Marie Slaughter stresses that women need better job choices, ones that equally accommodate a family and full career.
Intro - 7/16/12The Colbert ReportS8
Mitt Romney faces questions about his resume, people get their coffee in new ways, and Anne-Marie Slaughter explains why women can't have it all.
Who's Honoring Me Now? - Philadelphia's Rosenbach Museum and LibraryThe Colbert ReportS8
Rosenbach Museum curator Derick Dreher doubts that a Bud Light Lime bottle played an important role in the creation of Stephen's "I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)" manuscript.
NasThe Colbert ReportS8
Nas shares his passion for rapping, thoughts on retirement, and the inspiration behind his 10th album cover.
Nevada's "None of the Above" Is Fearsome Foe for GOPThe Colbert ReportS8
The whole message of Mitt Romney's campaign is "I'm not Barack Obama," while a Nevada foe demonstrates all the conservative credentials Mitt lacks.
The Word - On the Straight & Narrow-MindedThe Colbert ReportS8
The minds of young people are being poisoned by knowledge, but thankfully Texas is the Large Hadron Collider of denying science.
Intro - 7/18/12The Colbert ReportS8
There's a new way to connect with the Scriptures, Mitt Romney reaches out to his constituency, and Houston's Mayor Annise Parker joins Stephen.
"Struggling" Waiters & Waitresses at Mitt Romney's FundraiserThe Colbert ReportS8
For some reason Mitt Romney has gained this reputation as a guy who can't identify with the common man, no matter how hard he fires them.
Annise ParkerThe Colbert ReportS8
Mayor Annise Parker highlights Houston's largest industries and talks about being the first openly gay mayor of a major American city.
Stephen Colbert's meTunes - Def Leppard's "Forgeries" of Old HitsThe Colbert ReportS8
The cheeky British lads who invaded America and changed music forever, Def Leppard, launch a new career as the world's best Def Leppard cover band.
Tip/Wag - Christian Tablet Computer & Rock-Paper-Scissors RobotThe Colbert ReportS8
Christians get to ignore their families with mindless procrastination, and Japan's mechanical menace always rides shotgun.
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