The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Dry Mouth

Season 9 • 02/13/2013

Stephen gets cotton mouth.

More

Watching

04:30

RNC Autopsy
The Colbert ReportS9

Republicans hold a conference to assess election losses, but RNC Chair Reince Priebus thinks the GOP just needs to smile more.
02/12/2013
00:39

Intro - 2/12/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Republicans take sides, Hollywood tackles gun safety, and The Oxford American's Roger Hodge stops by The Report.
02/12/2013
04:46

Arizona's Gun Posse
The Colbert ReportS9

Volunteer school guards perform weapons drills with Steven Seagal, but history proves that many have already had extensive experience with police.
02/12/2013
05:33

Roger Hodge
The Colbert ReportS9

Roger Hodge talks about his quarterly, The Oxford American, slow-smoked pig and the music of Louisiana.
02/12/2013
05:04

Conservative Victory Project
The Colbert ReportS9

The Tea Party isn't going to take Karl Rove's Stab-You-in-the-Back Super PAC lying down; they will charge ahead with even more conservative positions.
02/12/2013
00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
02/12/2013
05:34

Dave Grohl
The Colbert ReportS9

Dave Grohl talks about Nirvana, L.A.'s legendary Sound City Studios and his touring super group, the Sound City Players.
02/13/2013
06:28

Obama's State of the Union
The Colbert ReportS9

President Fidel Handout raises the federal minimum wage to nine dollars an hour, but he says nothing about raising the maximum wage.
02/13/2013
04:13

Spanish State of the Rubio
The Colbert ReportS9

Marco Rubio's Spanish speech runs four minutes longer than the English version, but ABC News botches the translation.
02/13/2013
04:32

State of the Rubio
The Colbert ReportS9

Florida Senator Marco Rubio gets cotton mouth and ducks off camera during the biggest speech of his life.
02/13/2013
00:08

Sign Off - Dry Mouth
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen reaches for a vital sip of water.
02/13/2013
00:05

Sign Off - "Here's the Deal"
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen pulls up David Leonhardt's book on his iPad.
02/14/2013
06:06

Gavin Newsom
The Colbert ReportS9

The Lieutenant Governor of California shares his book, "Citizenville: How to Take the Town Square Digital and Reinvent Government."
02/14/2013
04:28

Nailed 'Em - Richard Eggers
The Colbert ReportS9

One bank finally nails the highest level white-collar mortgage banker to date: a 68-year-old customer service representative.
02/14/2013
03:30

Standard & Poor's Ratings Lawsuit
The Colbert ReportS9

The government grows a pair and goes after S&P for giving AAA ratings to what they knew were worthless securities.
02/14/2013
03:43

Standard & Poor's Ratings Lawsuit - David Leonhardt
The Colbert ReportS9

The New York Times Washington bureau chief David Leonhardt discusses S&P's defense, private bank suits and the AIG bailout.
02/14/2013
02:56

St. Valentine's Day
The Colbert ReportS9

Valentine's Day should be spent guzzling skins full of wine, sacrificing goats to Venus, and whipping women to promote fertility.
02/14/2013
00:07

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen fires off a few WristStrong bracelets.
02/19/2013
05:37

Emily Bazelon
The Colbert ReportS9

The senior editor of Slate discusses her book, "Sticks & Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy."
02/19/2013
03:15

Obama's Secretive Golf Outing
The Colbert ReportS9

America deserves to know who drove the golf cart, who rode shotgun and whether or not the president hit from the ladies' tee.
02/19/2013
04:13

Russian Meteor Strike
The Colbert ReportS9

After an unexpected and cataclysmic 10-ton meteor strike in Russia, NASA scrambles to improve its asteroid detection program.
02/19/2013
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
02:29

A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie

Derek Hale finds himself fighting for his life when a skilled hunter tracks down him and his son Eli in Teen Wolf: The Movie, premiering Thursday, January 26, 2023, on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
Trailer
01:22

Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
Out of Office

A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
Trailer
00:35

A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
South ParkS25

Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022