The Colbert Report
Intro - 1/9/07
Season 3 • 01/09/2007
President Bush is sending more troops to Iraq. Pack your bags, Boy Scout Council 289!
The Gallotastic Executacular - Hangin' With Mr. HusseinThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is upset that Saddam Hussein was executed while Stephen was on vacation, especially as he was already planning a 30-minute special for it.
Ethan NadelmannThe Colbert ReportS3
Director of the Drug Policy Alliance Ethan Nadelmann argues to legalize marijuana to reduce America's prison population.
Intro - 1/8/07The Colbert ReportS3
In this episode, Stephen discusses Saddam Hussein's execution, welcomes the new Democratic Congress and interviews Drug Policy Alliance Chair Ethan Nadelmann.
The Word - FactsThe Colbert ReportS3
Since the Democrat's version of reality is unfortunately based on reality, Stephen wants to fight facts with "facts."
Sign Off - Farewell, James BrownThe Colbert ReportS3
Though it's sad to lose the Godfather of Soul, there is a silver lining for Stephen.
Not a Sex ScandalThe Colbert ReportS3
On behalf of Catholics everywhere, Stephen thanks Archbishop Wielgus for merely selling out his peers to a godless, totalitarian regime.
Jim CramerThe Colbert ReportS3
Jim Cramer tells Stephen how to get the most out of watching his show.
Ohio State LosesThe Colbert ReportS3
The Florida Gators don't care what kind of message they're sending to America's enemies.
The Word - Texas Hold 'EmThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen has advice for the president: send everyone to Iraq. Americans need to sacrifice more.
We the Mediator - Celebrity FeudsThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen picks sides in celebrity fights between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump, Madonna and Angelina Jolie, and Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan.
Intro - 1/9/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen tells Boy Scout Council 289 to pack their bags, and wonders why celebrities can't fight to the death.
David KampThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen and David Kamp discuss the fancy-pantsification of American food.
President's SpeechThe Colbert ReportS3
Watching President Bush address the nation is like hanging out with your best bud.
The Word - WorryThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen wants to delicately remove Missouri and replace it with a stronger heartland: Texas.
Invasion of the Country SnatchersThe Colbert ReportS3
Winning baby contests is what illegal immigrants are leaving their families and risking their lives to come here for.
Intro - 1/10/07The Colbert ReportS3
The red states may be turning blue, Tek Jansen has a new adventure, and America's taste in food is getting fancier.
Sign Off - Thawing MeatThe Colbert ReportS3
Never thaw meat, poultry and fish products on the counter or in the sink without cold water.
Tek Jansen - Hounds of Hell: Ragtime Billy PeachesThe Colbert ReportS3
In this episode, Tek Jansen is mysteriously teleported to the combatosphere orbiting over Asteroid Z.
What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of? - Doubled UpThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen reminds his viewers that just because the numbers on the board are between one and five hundred, that doesn't mean the number he's thinking of is.
Tip/Wag - Science and TechnologyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is outraged by the iPhone unless he gets one for free.
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