The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 05/21/2007
Stephen liked Jimmy Carter better when he was a coward.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tom DeLay
Stephen asks Tom DeLay, author of "No Retreat, No Surrender," how to get rid of this country's Democrat infestation.
The Colbert ReportS3 Randy Kearse
Stephen asks Randy Kearse, author of "Changin' Your Game Plan," if he has any advice for a certain former majority leader.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/17/07
In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay and learns the best way to use your time in prison.
The Colbert ReportS3 Baby Gun Permit
A child should be at least 18 months old before he can own a gun.
The Colbert ReportS3 Jared Diamond
Jared Diamond explains how a conflagration of agriculture and resources helped Eurasians conquer the world.
The Colbert ReportS3 Cheating Death - Internal Decapitation
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA dispenses the health advice, mostly focusing around substitutes for Vaxadrin.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - His Way
Stephen compares Paul Wolfowitz's exit from the World Bank to his own exit from The Daily Show.
The Colbert ReportS3 God Loves a Big Screen TV
Stephen still believes the pope is infallible, except when it comes to his views on capitalism.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/21/07
Stephen provides all the news, minus a little something for himself.
The Colbert ReportS3 Presidential Fraternity
Stephen takes issue with Jimmy Carter for apparently growing a pair and criticizing the sitting president.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/22/07
Stephen chastises the NBA for not letting their players punch people in the stands.
The Colbert ReportS3 Barack's a Liar
Barack Obama's inability to remember what magazine he read when he was nine is all Stephen needs to call him a liar.
The Colbert ReportS3 Popularity Contest
Stephen is outraged that someone would insinuate "American Idol" is merely a popularity contest.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Lesson Forgotten
Stephen learns an important lesson about writing down important lessons.
The Colbert ReportS3 ThreatDown - Environmentalists
Environmentalists are on the list for setting up trust funds for bears.
The Colbert ReportS3 John Amaechi
Former center John Amaechi joins Stephen to discuss how hard it was to remember that he was the gay one in the NBA.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Party of Change
Stephen is relieved to find that the Democrats' talk of ethics reform merely meant that the public should reform their idea of right and wrong.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/23/07
The Democrats back down on a timetable for troop withdrawal, while the House and Senate forge a compromise on immigration.
The Colbert ReportS3 ThreatDown - Pellicano!
Stephen left Anthony Pellicano a few voicemails back in the late 90s, but he has nothing to be ashamed of, or incarcerated for.
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