The Colbert Report
Intro - 4/2/09
Season 5 • 04/02/2009
President Obama meets with the president of Russia. What was Michelle wearing?
Hide-and-SeekThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
The Word - Fine LineThe Colbert ReportS5
The Line index: just as meaningless as the Dow Jones, but it always goes up.
Intro - 4/1/09The Colbert ReportS5
The take-home message of this economy: there is nothing to take and you have no home.
Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & ColonoscopiesThe Colbert ReportS5
A sperm bank offers a clearance sale, Canadian researchers invent the PolyPill, and veterans get dirty colonoscopies.
French Worker ProtestsThe Colbert ReportS5
Once again, Americans are going to have to show the French how it is done, just like with the mustache.
Merriam-Webster's Word's WorthThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen won't let Merriam-Webster engayify other straight words like "drag," "bear" and "Manwich."
Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & SpaceThe Colbert ReportS5
Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
Cheney's Secret Assassination SquadThe Colbert ReportS5
It's hard to believe Dick Cheney had the time to command a secret lawless assassination squad with all the secret lawless torture.
Let Your GPS Be Your GuideThe Colbert ReportS5
Let your conscience be your guide until you can afford a GPS.
Biz StoneThe Colbert ReportS5
Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, one of America's preeminent Twits, discusses the company's popularity and business model.
Intro - 4/2/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama meets with the president of Russia. The big question: what was Michelle wearing?
Space Module: Colbert - Urine Recycling RoomThe Colbert ReportS5
NASA, don't make Stephen launch an intern into space with a can of spray paint.
Intro - 4/6/09The Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama travels around Europe, and new developments arise in the NASA node-naming contest.
Obama's European Trip - Tom BrokawThe Colbert ReportS5
Tom Brokaw believes Barack Obama appeared very presidential at the G20 Summit.
Un-American News - Rest of the WorldThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen loves Barack Obama, at least until he returns to the United States.
Make LemonadeThe Colbert ReportS5
If life gives you lemons, water, sugar and ice, make lemonade.
Body LossThe Colbert ReportS5
Getting paid for missing body parts is too tempting for Americans.
Rich LowryThe Colbert ReportS5
Rich Lowry wants Republican principles to stay the same, but the application to change.
Queen Noor's Royal TreatmentThe Colbert ReportS5
To make sure Stephen doesn't violate any royalty protocol, he's going to wear surgical gloves.
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