The Colbert Report
Season 2 • 01/12/2006
Stephen suggests a better host for the Academy Awards.
The Colbert ReportS2 Alito Haters
Stephen proves that, contrary to media criticism, Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito is an exciting and hilarious man.
The Colbert ReportS2 Sign Off - Future Money
Stephen adds a piggy bank to his bookshelf and puts in a dollar for the children's future. He tells them to smash it open in 2050 and trade the dollars for the new currency.
The Colbert ReportS2 ThreatDown - Fathers and Sons
Stephen sounds the warning on dads who let their kids hang out in war zones, breeding robots, bears that aren't really hibernating and the Associated Press.
The Colbert ReportS2 John Stossel
John Stossel tells Stephen what's wrong with the education system and Stephen tells John what a freedom-tarian is.
The Colbert ReportS2 Better Know a District - New Jersey's 9th - Steven Rothman
Congressman Steve Rothman talks about New Jersey, the war in Iraq and what date movie he'd see with Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS2 Intro - 1/12/06
Stephen will ask evolution expert Kenneth Miller about the Lord, Congressman Steve Rothman defends New Jersey and the Miss America Pageant gets back to its roots.
The Colbert ReportS2 The Word - Double-Stick Tape
With the Miss America Competition reincorporating the word "Pageant" into its title, Stephen urges the rest of the world to have a little more zazz.
The Colbert ReportS2 Fract - Frnap: Monarchy
Some governments are so not evolved, it's like they have a monarchy.
The Colbert ReportS2 Michael Adams' Apology
Stephen gets Michael Adams to apologize for not giving him credit for "truthiness."
The Colbert ReportS2 Kenneth Miller
Kenneth Miller talks about evolution, what's so clever about God, the flu and what he likes to call the "Steve Martin Theory of Evolution."
The Colbert ReportS2 The Oscars
Stephen congratulates Jon Stewart for being asked to host the Oscars, but suggests the Academy reconsider and go with a CGI version of Bob Hope.
The Colbert ReportS2 Martin Luther King Jr. Day
Martin Luther King Jr. Day is the perfect opportunity for Stephen to fire back at the privacy Gestapo.
The Colbert ReportS2 Intro - 1/16/06
Stephen will tell you how the government knows about that thing you did to that thing. You should be ashamed, and so should that thing.
The Colbert ReportS2 The Word - Cerrado!
Stephen has an elaborate idea for keeping America's borders closed, hinged on the cheap labor of illegal immigrants.
The Colbert ReportS2 Movies That Are Destroying America - Transamerica
Stephen expresses his disappointment in the sequel to "National Velvet."
The Colbert ReportS2 George Stephanopoulos
George Stephanopoulos relates politics to wrestling at Stephen's insistence.
The Colbert ReportS2 Fract - Captain North Korea
A near-mint "Captain America" is way more valuable than a near-mint "Captain North Korea."
The Colbert ReportS2 Sign Off - I Have a Dreamsicle
Stephen compares race relations to his Dreamsicle ice cream pop.
The Colbert ReportS2 The Golden Globes
Stephen's assistant had to give him the details on Reese Witherspoon, Steve Carrell and Harrison Ford at the Golden Globes.
The Colbert ReportS2 The Word - Old School
Stephen takes a look at the old school God and shows us how the new one is tougher and clearer about everything.
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