The Colbert Report
Better Know a District - Illinois' 9th - Jan Schakowsky
Season 3 • 06/04/2007
This district contains Wrigley Field, home of the Cubs, and the first ever McDonald's.
Fleet WeekThe Colbert ReportS3
The Fleet Week servicemen are just innocent, small town kids wandering a big city rife with temptations like liquor, gambling and museums.
Intro - 5/24/07The Colbert ReportS3
Since it's Memorial Day weekend, Stephen wants to remind everyone to turn their clocks back.
Better Know a District - Arizona's 7th - Raul GrijalvaThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen believes Representative Raul Grijalva's Interethnic Racial Harmony Award would make one hell of a weapon.
Big Loud FlagThe Colbert ReportS3
Some people have complained about Stephen's big, loud flag.
Uneventful VacationThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen recalls the uneventful events from his week off that only included performing medical experiments on himself and traveling the world behind a mask.
Leon BotsteinThe Colbert ReportS3
Bard College president Leon Botstein explains how educating prisoners is an effective way to reintroduce them to society.
Sign Off - Mardi Gras MaskThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen wears his Mardi Gras mask to say good night.
Democratic Presidential Debate - VenueThe Colbert ReportS3
Though Stephen did not watch the Democratic presidential debate, he can assume he knows what the candidates said anyway.
Jan SchakowskyThe Colbert ReportS3
Now that America has won back the hot dog eating crown, Stephen discusses Hunger Awareness Day and the rising prices of food.
Intro - 6/4/07The Colbert ReportS3
In this episode, America reclaims the hot dog eating crown, Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky spends a week living off food stamps and Stephen interviews Bard College president Leon Botstein.
Better Know a District - Illinois' 9th - Jan SchakowskyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen visits the district on the North Shore of Chicago, home of Northwestern University, Wrigley Field and Mayor McCheese.
Jessica ValentiThe Colbert ReportS3
Jessica Valenti has a hard time believing that the girls in the "Girls Gone Wild" videos are flashing their breasts for their own pleasure.
The God Machine?The Colbert ReportS3
The disturbing news about the new iPhone is that Stephen doesn't have one yet.
When Animals Attack Our Morals - FlamingosThe Colbert ReportS3
A pair of gay flamingos has raised fifteen flamingo chicks, all from eggs poached from other traditional flamingo nests.
Yahoo Korea - RainThe Colbert ReportS3
Koreans have been trying to keep the white man down, ever since we invaded their country.
You've Been Scootered!The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen advises Scooter Libby to start a gang in prison with Duke Cunningham.
The Word - Mission ControlThe Colbert ReportS3
NASA's Michael Griffin made their mission statement better by deleting any mention of planet protection.
Intro - 6/5/07The Colbert ReportS3
Tonight, Stephen reports on Scooter Libby's prison sentence, discusses the new iPhone and interviews author Jessica Valenti.
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - OctopiThe Colbert ReportS3
One day octopi are twisting open bottles, the next they're twisting open submarine hatch doors.
Carl BernsteinThe Colbert ReportS3
Carl Bernstein's new book "A Woman in Charge" is about Hillary Clinton. Stephen hopes it has a happy ending.
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