The Colbert Report

National Geographic Poll on Alien Invasion Management

Season 8 • 06/27/2012

A National Geographic poll says Barack Obama will handle an alien invasion better than Mitt Romney.

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07:26

Richard Ford
The Colbert ReportS8

Award-winning American novelist Richard Ford shares his inspiration for "Canada," aversion to criticism, and logic behind storing manuscripts in the freezer.
06/26/2012
03:36

Dish Network's AutoHop Service
The Colbert ReportS8

Dish Network could force hardworking TV folk to do more integrated product placement just to put food on the table -- and not just any food.
06/26/2012
00:33

Intro - 6/26/12
The Colbert ReportS8

A Pixar movie sparks controversy, advertising forges new frontiers, and writer Richard Ford discusses his book "Canada."
06/26/2012
03:50

Supreme Court Ruling on Arizona Immigration Policy
The Colbert ReportS8

America must return to the founders' dream of every state deciding who it could turn away at its border.
06/26/2012
05:27

Tip/Wag - Pixar's Gay Agenda, America's Obesity & Adidas Shackle Sneakers
The Colbert ReportS8

Any 15-year-old girl who resists an arranged marriage must be gay, America has 41 pounds on skinny countries, and civil rights leaders knock athletic shackles.
06/26/2012
03:03

Blood in the Water - Mike Turzai's Voter ID Remarks
The Colbert ReportS8

Republican state legislatures fight nonexistent fraud with voter ID laws, but the lamestream media calls it a scheme to disenfranchise low-income and elderly voters.
06/27/2012
04:10

Mitt Romney's Victory Retreat & Democrats' Convention Deficit
The Colbert ReportS8

While things are sunny with a chance of cash for the GOP, Democrats' financial forecast is partly cloudy with a chance of fighting a seagull for half a hotdog bun.
06/27/2012
00:09

Sign Off - Oreo Cookie Plate
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen rethinks licking an Oreo cookie.
06/27/2012
06:40

Melinda Gates
The Colbert ReportS8

Philanthropist Melinda Gates discusses foreign aid, her philosophy on contraception, and the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation's global family planning summit.
06/27/2012
03:46

Rainbow-Stuffed Gay Pride Oreo
The Colbert ReportS8

No matter how innocent America's foodstuff may seem, every morsel should be fraught with divisive partisan meaning.
06/27/2012
03:05

National Geographic Poll on Alien Invasion Management
The Colbert ReportS8

The Obama campaign invites wedding registry donations, and America finds out what its presidential candidates would never have to do in situations that will never occur.
06/27/2012
03:19

Obamacare & The Broccoli Argument - Emily Bazelon
The Colbert ReportS8

By the time Mitt Romney becomes president and gets Congress to repeal Obamacare, it might be 2014 and people might like it.
06/28/2012
03:07

John Roberts' Obamacare Swing Vote
The Colbert ReportS8

John Roberts' health care vote is the worst betrayal since Benedict Arnold teamed up with Judas to stab Caesar right in the croutons.
06/28/2012
02:31

Obamacare & The Broccoli Argument
The Colbert ReportS8

There is nothing stopping Barack Obama from making Americans gay-marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom, in a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
06/28/2012
01:32

Colbert Super PAC - Super Fun Pack Treasure Finder
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen honors Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack's treasure finder, Dan Stough, with an antique silver turtle bell.
06/28/2012
04:19

Cable News Gaffe on Obamacare Supreme Court Ruling
The Colbert ReportS8

The Supreme Court rules Obamacare constitutional, despite CNN and Fox's opposite breaking news.
06/28/2012
06:09

Aaron Sorkin
The Colbert ReportS8

Academy Award-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin talks about the golden age of news, "The West Wing" and what makes America the greatest country.
06/28/2012
06:14

Mitt Romney's Retroactive Retirement from Bain Capital
The Colbert ReportS8

If Barack Obama wins the presidential race, Mitt Romney can just say he retroactively retired from it in 2009.
07/16/2012
00:32

Intro - 7/16/12
The Colbert ReportS8

Mitt Romney faces questions about his resume, people get their coffee in new ways, and Anne-Marie Slaughter explains why women can't have it all.
07/16/2012
04:33

TomKat's Divorce & Anderson Cooper's Sexual Orientation
The Colbert ReportS8

The thetan inhabiting Katie Holmes isn't getting any younger, and torso-American Anderson Cooper could have had perfect caramel-mocha babies.
07/16/2012
00:23

Sign Off - Smiles or Whatever
The Colbert ReportS8

Stephen hopes The Report incited smiles.
07/16/2012
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