The Colbert Report

Near-President Obama

Season 5 • 01/22/2009

For the first time in history, an African-American almost became president.

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02:47

President Yo-Yo Ma
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama's bungled oath of office could have a huge impact on who Fox News thinks is president.
01/21/2009
00:32

Intro - 1/21/09
The Colbert ReportS5

It's Obama's first day and the economy's still in the toilet -- some change.
01/21/2009
06:19

Election 2012 - Chuck Todd
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Chuck Todd predicts who will take the Republican nomination in 2012.
01/21/2009
00:03

Good Night
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Stephen says good night.
01/21/2009
06:20

Elizabeth Alexander
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Elizabeth Alexander explains to Stephen the difference between a metaphor and a lie.
01/21/2009
03:42

Un-American News - President Obama Edition
The Colbert ReportS5

Palestinians want to be happy for Barack Obama, but they have to feel the opposite of Israel.
01/22/2009
00:17

Refreshing Sierra Mist
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Kids, if you're playing at home, tonight's secret word is Refreshing Sierra Mist.
01/22/2009
05:28

Jon Meacham
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Jon Meacham thinks Andrew Jackson would have loved YouTube.
01/22/2009
06:03

Better Know a Lobby - NAACP
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Even after Barack Obama's election, NAACP president Benjamin Jealous won't admit racism is over.
01/22/2009
00:32

Intro - 1/22/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The world reacts to President Obama and Stephen yells back in Esperanto.
01/22/2009
04:08

Near-President Obama
The Colbert ReportS5

The lack of a Bible isn't the only Godless part of Barack Obama and John Roberts' secret rendezvous.
01/22/2009
03:55

Tip/Wag - John Yarmuth's Holiday Card
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen tips his hat to John Yarmuth for his kittenless Christmas card.
01/26/2009
05:21

Ed Young
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Pastor Ed Young believes more sex will help marriages.
01/26/2009
04:40

Obama's New Science Policy - Chris Mooney
The Colbert ReportS5

Chris Mooney thinks scientists are going to be much closer to Barack Obama than they were to George W. Bush.
01/26/2009
00:30

Intro - 1/26/09
The Colbert ReportS5

An executive order shuts down our secret prisons. Now where will we get our secret license plates?
01/26/2009
05:12

Stephen's Secret Prison
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Stephen is forced to release Omar after his secret prison is shut down.
01/26/2009
00:23

1-877-SEAN-930
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Call 1-877-SEAN-930 if you were offended by anything you heard on tonight's program.
01/26/2009
03:12

Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Report Rumors
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Bill O'Reilly will not report on rumors of Caroline Kennedy having an affair.
01/27/2009
00:31

Intro - 1/27/09
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama appears on Arab TV and it's not "CSI: Abu Dhabi."
01/27/2009
02:16

Omar Returns
The Colbert ReportS5

If you love something, set it free from the secret prison under your desk.
01/27/2009
05:17

Cheating Death - Lung Health
The Colbert ReportS5

If air with fewer particles will extend your life for five months, logically air with no particles should extend it indefinitely.
01/27/2009
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