The Colbert Report

Mummy

Season 3 • 03/26/2007

Stephen lost the auction for the original "We're Number One!" mummified hand.

More

Watching

04:45

Sport Report - NCAA Final Four
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen discusses March Madness and then talks with Coach Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit about the upcoming playoffs.
03/22/2007
00:13

Sign Off - Future
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen encourages his audience to join him for his upcoming show on Monday -- in the future.
03/22/2007
06:29

Katie Couric
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wonders if Katie Couric would have an easier time delivering the news if she did it as a man.
03/22/2007
04:36

Eleanor Holmes Norton
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen doesn't see why D.C. residents should get a vote in Congress if they could just open a window and yell to have their voices heard.
03/22/2007
02:09

Torture Gonzales
The Colbert ReportS3

How dare Chuck Hagel say we're living in a monarchy? The president should confiscate his lands and deny his peerage.
03/26/2007
03:48

Stephen Colbert Day
The Colbert ReportS3

Oshawa, Ontario celebrates Stephen Colbert Day with a look-a-like contest.
03/26/2007
00:35

Intro - 3/26/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to John Perry Barlow about digital free speech and brings you highlights from Stephen Colbert Day in Oshawa, Ontario.
03/26/2007
05:20

For Your Editing Pleasure
The Colbert ReportS3

Gwen Ifill interviews Stephen, giving everyone a chance to twist his words through editing.
03/26/2007
00:31

Sign Off - Photo-Op
The Colbert ReportS3

Don't forget to use the red-eye filter when you take a picture of Stephen.
03/26/2007
05:21

John Perry Barlow
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen draws a chart for John Perry Barlow explaining that you don't bite the hand that feeds you.
03/26/2007
02:21

Mummy
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen missed his chance to bid in future auctions with an ancient mummified hand for a paddle.
03/26/2007
05:40

James Fallows
The Colbert ReportS3

Author James Fallows explains to Stephen the difference between being a children's storybook writer and a strategist for the United States.
03/27/2007
07:26

Madeleine Albright
The Colbert ReportS3

Though Stephen is excited for the imminent World War III, Madeleine Albright explains that Armageddon is not exactly a foreign policy.
03/27/2007
03:19

Sean Penn Unleashes on President Bush
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen challenges Sean Penn to a battle of the metaphors after Penn's attack on the president.
03/27/2007
03:25

Tip/Wag - Drug Dealers
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wags his finger at drug dealers and tips his cap to GLAAD and mansheep.
03/27/2007
00:30

Intro - 3/2707
The Colbert ReportS3

Sean Penn insults the president, Stephen asks if we should go to war with Iran, and guest James Fallows discusses what went wrong in Iraq.
03/27/2007
00:13

Sign Off - Going to Bed Angry
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen encourages his audience not to go to bed angry with each other.
03/28/2007
05:44

Jabari Asim
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen suggests blaming the pilgrims for the origin of the "N" Word.
03/28/2007
03:42

Claim to the Arctic
The Colbert ReportS3

Since no one yet has territorial claims to the South Pole, Stephen suggests planting an American flag and a Colbert Nation flag.
03/28/2007
03:47

The Word - Monkey Business
The Colbert ReportS3

With scientists trying to prove that morality has a biological basis, Stephen thinks it's about time for religion to take things away from science.
03/28/2007
00:33

Intro - 3/28/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen proves that evolution does not exist, says which countries are threatening America, and interviews author Jabari Asim.
03/28/2007
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022