The Colbert Report

Intro - 4/26/07

Season 3 • 04/26/2007

The army is building walls in Iraq. Try sneaking in now, Mexicans!

More

Watching

03:10

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Sacrifice

Stephen supports enlisting illegal immigrants in the war in Iraq, simultaneously bolstering our fighting forces and solving our immigration dilemma.
04/25/2007
00:10

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Promises

Stephen doesn't want to make any promises he can't keep, but he'll see you tomorrow night.
04/25/2007
04:15

The Colbert ReportS3
Dead to Me - Long War

Good news -- the long war in Iraq is over! That is, the use of the phrase 'Long War' is over thanks to Admiral William J. Fallon.
04/25/2007
00:33

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 4/25/07

America faces a troop shortage, Stephen unleashes on pop culture, and the U.S. Comptroller General David Walker talks with Stephen about the national debt.
04/25/2007
05:29

The Colbert ReportS3
David Walker

Accountant David Walker warns of a 50 trillion dollar deficit and Stephen asks if his haircut can be a tax write off.
04/25/2007
05:47

The Colbert ReportS3
Tom Wolfe

Stephen disagrees with new journalism because he believes people want entertaining journalism, not factual journalism.
04/26/2007
03:30

The Colbert ReportS3
Stephanie Lost

Stephen reminds Stephanie Colbertle the turtle to maintain her dignity after losing the Great Turtle Race.
04/26/2007
03:48

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Mending Wall

Gated communities in Iraq -- they've been doing it Florida and the old people seem to like it.
04/26/2007
05:40

The Colbert ReportS3
Better Know a Protectorate - Guam - Madeleine Bordallo

Stephen tells Guam Rep. Madeleine Bordallo that if she can't find Guam on a map of the continental U.S. that means Guam isn't part of America.
04/26/2007
00:13

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Yuri Kuklachev

Stephen apologizes to Yuri Kuklachev of the Moscow Cat Circus for bringing his Rottweiler to work.
04/26/2007
00:31

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 4/26/07

The U.S. Army's constructing walls in Iraq, Stephen gets to know Guam better, and author Tom Wolfe talks about journalism.
04/26/2007
00:32

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 4/30/07

Scientists find a new Earth-like planet, The New York Times encourages presidential candidates to debate the environment, and guest Bill Bradley talks about oil and ice cream.
04/30/2007
04:36

The Colbert ReportS3
Tip/Wag - Shrek

Bravo, Shrek, for encouraging our kids to do more than sit around the house all day watching 'Shrek' DVDs.
04/30/2007
05:20

The Colbert ReportS3
Neil deGrasse Tyson

Stephen assumes Neil deGrasse Tyson's book, "Death By Black Hole," is a pro-capital punishment argument.
04/30/2007
05:54

The Colbert ReportS3
Bill Bradley

Stephen tells Bill Bradley he doesn't mind the old American story or being addicted to oil.
04/30/2007
03:20

The Colbert ReportS3
First Democratic Debate for '08

Stephen has a recurring nightmare where the Democrats take over the Senate and the House, and he cannot wait to wake up.
04/30/2007
00:02

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Lutefisk

Goodnight. Lutefisk!
05/01/2007
01:22

The Colbert ReportS3
Mitt's Favorite Book

Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney's favorite author is L. Ron Hubbard.
05/01/2007
00:33

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 5/1/07

Stephen wonders whether public radio is destroying America, Tony Stewart accuses NASCAR of fixing races, and guest Malcolm Gladwell defends making decisions without thinking.
05/01/2007
04:16

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Who Cares?

NASCAR driver Tony Stewart complains NASCAR is selling fiction by fixing races to appear closer than they are, but Stephen asks -- who cares?
05/01/2007
03:56

The Colbert ReportS3
NPR Correction

Stephen offers a travel mug, tote bag and a book on quilting to NPR hosts to tempt them to air his inaccurate statements.
05/01/2007
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
00:15

The Daily ShowS28
Guest Host Chelsea Handler Helms The Daily Show Desk

Comedian Chelsea Handler takes over for a wild week as guest host of The Daily Show, starting Monday, February 6 at 11/10c.
02/03/2023
Trailer
00:30

South ParkS26
There's No Place Like South Park

It's feeling a lot like home on an all-new season of South Park, premiering Wednesday, February 8, at 10/9c.
01/26/2023
Trailer
00:15

Mike Judge's Beavis & Butt-Head
Mike Judge's Beavis & Butt-Head Is Back

Your favorite Texas slackers are ready for more mayhem when Mike Judge's Beavis & Butt-Head arrives on Wednesday, February 8, at 10:30/9:30c.
01/26/2023
Trailer
00:15

South ParkS26
Brace Yourself for New South Park Adventures

Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny are back for a new season of South Park, premiering Wednesday, February 8, at 10/9c.
01/23/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022