The Colbert Report
Intro - 8/9/11
Season 7 • 08/09/2011
Record temperatures sweep the heartland, and The Cars rock out.
Sport Report - Baseball's Lowest Records & MLB's Twitter FeedThe Colbert ReportS7
Two of the grid diamond's lowest records might fall, and MLB gets in on gambling, giving Stephen control of their Twitter feed.
Colbert Super PAC - The Heroes RespondThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen calls on the Colbert Nation to send in more suggestions for the direction of his Super PAC, in addition to more money.
Colbert Super PAC - Rick Perry for PresidentThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen already licked the Rick Perry for President donut, so all the other Super PAC bitches better back off.
Nassir GhaemiThe Colbert ReportS7
Psychiatrist Nassir Ghaemi believes that mental illness can foster great leadership, but the Republican presidential candidates are too "normal."
America's Credit DowngradeThe Colbert ReportS7
The credit downgrade reduces Americans to waffle-eating Kiwis who put mayonnaise on their French fries and have a serious Hobbit infestation.
Doomsday Bargain BunkersThe Colbert ReportS7
With three doomsday believers to a room, Vivos economy-class underground bunkers are like freshman year at Bob Jones University.
Sign Off - Stephen Sniffs a MarkerThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen gets high off a Sharpie and says goodnight.
The Word - Head in the CloudThe Colbert ReportS7
Technology turns people into empty flesh terminals that rely on it for all their ideas, memories and relationships.
HeatsteriaThe Colbert ReportS7
Part-time weather balloon Rush Limbaugh exposes the government-manufactured heat index conspiracy, while SpongeBob brainwashes kids with global warming propaganda.
Ric OcasekThe Colbert ReportS7
The Cars' Ric Ocasek remembers the '80s music scene and promises Stephen any future Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Awards.
Intro - 8/9/11The Colbert ReportS7
Record temperatures sweep the heartland, the Internet doesn't make for better human beings, and legendary rockers The Cars perform.
Elliot AckermanThe Colbert ReportS7
AmericansElect.org CEO Elliot Ackerman believes that individuals should have the power and tools to draft and directly nominate their own presidential candidate.
God's Job Performance - Jim MartinThe Colbert ReportS7
Father Jim Martin believes that God's job is sustaining the universe, but His performance can't be judged.
Sign Off - E-Mailing Colbert NationThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen types up e-mails on his MacBook Air and says goodnight.
Intro - 8/10/11The Colbert ReportS7
God should improve His image, campaign fundraisers have a new weapon, and Elliot Ackerman's website matches voters with candidates.
Yahweh or No Way - Mormons & God's Poll NumbersThe Colbert ReportS7
The Mormon Church's PR campaign makes Mormons irresistibly cool, while only 52% of Americans approve of God.
Hooker-Drawer MarketThe Colbert ReportS7
The New York Post explains the volatile stock market with analysis that everyone can understand.
Colbert Super PAC - Campaign Donation AddictionThe Colbert ReportS7
Political junkies get a fix through compulsive donations to presidential campaigns.
Gloria SteinemThe Colbert ReportS7
Gloria Steinem believes Americans know that women can do what men can do, but they don't know that men can do what women can do.
Colbert Super PAC - Confused by Rick Parry with an "A" for AmericaThe Colbert ReportS7
The fat cat media elites in Des Moines think they can sit in their ivory corn silos and play puppet master with national politics.
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