The Colbert Report

Intro - 8/9/11

Season 7 • 08/09/2011

Record temperatures sweep the heartland, and The Cars rock out.

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Watching

04:36

Sport Report - Baseball's Lowest Records & MLB's Twitter Feed
The Colbert ReportS7

Two of the grid diamond's lowest records might fall, and MLB gets in on gambling, giving Stephen control of their Twitter feed.
08/04/2011
04:21

Colbert Super PAC - The Heroes Respond
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen calls on the Colbert Nation to send in more suggestions for the direction of his Super PAC, in addition to more money.
08/04/2011
06:00

Colbert Super PAC - Rick Perry for President
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen already licked the Rick Perry for President donut, so all the other Super PAC bitches better back off.
08/08/2011
06:54

Nassir Ghaemi
The Colbert ReportS7

Psychiatrist Nassir Ghaemi believes that mental illness can foster great leadership, but the Republican presidential candidates are too "normal."
08/08/2011
03:35

America's Credit Downgrade
The Colbert ReportS7

The credit downgrade reduces Americans to waffle-eating Kiwis who put mayonnaise on their French fries and have a serious Hobbit infestation.
08/08/2011
04:12

Doomsday Bargain Bunkers
The Colbert ReportS7

With three doomsday believers to a room, Vivos economy-class underground bunkers are like freshman year at Bob Jones University.
08/08/2011
00:07

Sign Off - Stephen Sniffs a Marker
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen gets high off a Sharpie and says goodnight.
08/08/2011
05:39

The Word - Head in the Cloud
The Colbert ReportS7

Technology turns people into empty flesh terminals that rely on it for all their ideas, memories and relationships.
08/09/2011
04:59

Heatsteria
The Colbert ReportS7

Part-time weather balloon Rush Limbaugh exposes the government-manufactured heat index conspiracy, while SpongeBob brainwashes kids with global warming propaganda.
08/09/2011
05:03

Ric Ocasek
The Colbert ReportS7

The Cars' Ric Ocasek remembers the '80s music scene and promises Stephen any future Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Awards.
08/09/2011
00:33

Intro - 8/9/11
The Colbert ReportS7

Record temperatures sweep the heartland, the Internet doesn't make for better human beings, and legendary rockers The Cars perform.
08/09/2011
06:07

Elliot Ackerman
The Colbert ReportS7

AmericansElect.org CEO Elliot Ackerman believes that individuals should have the power and tools to draft and directly nominate their own presidential candidate.
08/10/2011
04:16

God's Job Performance - Jim Martin
The Colbert ReportS7

Father Jim Martin believes that God's job is sustaining the universe, but His performance can't be judged.
08/10/2011
00:08

Sign Off - E-Mailing Colbert Nation
The Colbert ReportS7

Stephen types up e-mails on his MacBook Air and says goodnight.
08/10/2011
00:34

Intro - 8/10/11
The Colbert ReportS7

God should improve His image, campaign fundraisers have a new weapon, and Elliot Ackerman's website matches voters with candidates.
08/10/2011
05:03

Yahweh or No Way - Mormons & God's Poll Numbers
The Colbert ReportS7

The Mormon Church's PR campaign makes Mormons irresistibly cool, while only 52% of Americans approve of God.
08/10/2011
01:55

Hooker-Drawer Market
The Colbert ReportS7

The New York Post explains the volatile stock market with analysis that everyone can understand.
08/10/2011
02:40

Colbert Super PAC - Campaign Donation Addiction
The Colbert ReportS7

Political junkies get a fix through compulsive donations to presidential campaigns.
08/10/2011
06:04

Gloria Steinem
The Colbert ReportS7

Gloria Steinem believes Americans know that women can do what men can do, but they don't know that men can do what women can do.
08/11/2011
05:39

Colbert Super PAC - Confused by Rick Parry with an "A" for America
The Colbert ReportS7

The fat cat media elites in Des Moines think they can sit in their ivory corn silos and play puppet master with national politics.
08/11/2011
00:59

Super PAC Ad - Behind The Green Corn
The Colbert ReportS7

Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow gives Iowans the cornography they deserve.
08/11/2011
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