YOUR FAVORITE COMEDY CENTRAL SHOWS ARE ON PARAMOUNT+
GET PARAMOUNT+
Home
Shows
Awkwafina is Nora from Queens
Mike Judge's Beavis and Butt-Head
Comedy Central Roasts
The Daily Show
Digman!
RENO 911!
South Park
Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out the News
ALL SHOWS
FULL EPISODES
PLUTO TV
TV Schedule
LIVE TV
Stand-Up
Digital Originals
Original Movies
A Clüsterfünke Christmas
Cursed Friends
Hot Mess Holiday
Out Of Office
Reno 911!: It's A Wonderful Heist
All Movies
App
SHOP
MIKE JUDGE'S BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD SHOP
DRUNK HISTORY SHOP
South Park Shop
WORKAHOLICS SHOP
Comedy Central Shop
The Colbert Report
Menu
Episodes & Videos
About
The Colbert Report
Lance Armstrong
Season 3 • 02/14/2007
Stephen asks Lance Armstrong why his bracelets don't say "Livestronger" or "Livestrongest."
More
Watching
00:59
The Colbert Report
S3
Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Eight-Child Policy
China is on the rise, and to maintain supremacy, America's going to have to breed like Mormon squirrels.
02/13/2007
03:28
The Colbert Report
S3
Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Take the Pulse
Stephen takes ordinary Americans' questions about Chinese outsourcing, aphrodisiacs, games, families and bootleg DVDs.
02/13/2007
06:40
The Colbert Report
S3
Sheryl WuDunn
Stephen asks journalist Sheryl WuDunn whether China is a friend, a foe, or a frenemy.
02/13/2007
04:44
The Colbert Report
S3
The Word - Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Frenemy
China is surpassing us everywhere, including in coal consumption, military personnel and executions -- because Texas can't do it alone.
02/13/2007
02:53
The Colbert Report
S3
Safe Sex for Senior Citizens
A New York Times article reports that senior citizens are exploring safe sex. Stephen disapproves, and they're not the only ones Stephen is wishing a sexless Valentine's Day.
02/14/2007
03:11
The Colbert Report
S3
The Word - Bad Medicine
It used to be easy to scare teens into not having sex by saying things like, "It's a sin," "You could have a baby," or "Your parents do it."
02/14/2007
04:52
The Colbert Report
S3
Sport Report - Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
It's the time of the year when the real sports -- like the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show -- finally get their share of the spotlight.
02/14/2007
00:45
The Colbert Report
S3
Stephen Protects Valentine's Day
Stephen knows there's no better time to protect the sanctity of marriage than Valentine's Day, so he presents a montage of some of New York's most loving couples.
02/14/2007
00:32
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 2/14/07
Political controversy rages over women's health in Texas, Stephen reviews the Westminster Dog Show, and Lance Armstrong explains why he never won the Tour de America.
02/14/2007
01:29
The Colbert Report
S3
Catching Up With China
Stephen said China had three times as many people at America and urged the Nation to procreate. It turns out China has four times more, so the need is even greater.
02/14/2007
06:18
The Colbert Report
S3
Lance Armstrong
Stephen asks Lance Armstrong if "Livestrong" isn't a little weak compared to "Livestronger" or "Livestrongest."
02/14/2007
02:04
The Colbert Report
S3
The 365 Most Influential Cultural Figures of 2007 - Candice Bergen
Stephen is so keyed up for his being prayed for next week, he just can't stop thinking about it -- so he asks Candice Bergen what her prayer day was like.
02/15/2007
05:43
The Colbert Report
S3
Shashi Tharoor
Shashi Tharoor explains that the UN consists of more than a bunch of blue-helmeted refugee-huggers.
02/15/2007
05:13
The Colbert Report
S3
Better Know a District - Arkansas' 2nd - Vic Snyder
Representative Vic Snyder refuses to donate some of his mustache hairs to help cure little children of their diseases.
02/15/2007
01:22
The Colbert Report
S3
Helen Thomas's Chair
There's going to be a new chair in the front row of the White House press room, and Fox and Friends wants it -- and Helen Thomas's too.
02/15/2007
00:31
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 2/15/07
Stephen explores the power of prayer, Arkansas's 2nd district, and why former undersecretary of the UN Shashi Tharoor will have to start paying his parking tickets.
02/15/2007
04:52
The Colbert Report
S3
The 365 Most Influential Cultural Figures of 2007 - J.J. Abrams
Stephen makes Mastermedia International's list of the 365 most influential cultural figures its members can pray for each day.
02/15/2007
05:41
The Colbert Report
S3
Zev Chafets
Stephen and author Zev Chafets get to the bottom of which of the two of them is the most Jewish.
02/26/2007
00:31
The Colbert Report
S3
Sign Off - The Stupidest Person in the World
It's Monday night, and that means one thing -- it's time for The Stupidest Person in the World.
02/26/2007
05:41
The Colbert Report
S3
Stephen's Sound Advice - Avoiding Humiliation on the Campaign Trail
With more people running for president than ever before, it's never been easier to lose.
02/26/2007
00:35
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 2/26/07
The British announce plans to cut and run, Tom Vilsack drops out of the presidential race, and Zev Chafets angles for a Christmas present.
02/26/2007
You may also like
5 Videos
Trailer
00:15
The Daily Show
S28
The Daily Show Welcomes Guest Host John Leguizamo
Comedian and actor John Leguizamo takes a seat at The Daily Show desk as guest host, starting Monday at 11/10c.
03/24/2023
Trailer
01:00
Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack
A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
02:29
A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie
Derek Hale finds himself fighting for his life when a skilled hunter tracks down him and his son Eli in Teen Wolf: The Movie, premiering Thursday, January 26, 2023, on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41
Cursed Friends
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
Trailer
01:22
Out of Office
Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022