The Colbert Report

Lance Armstrong

Season 3 • 02/14/2007

Stephen asks Lance Armstrong why his bracelets don't say "Livestronger" or "Livestrongest."

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00:59

Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Eight-Child Policy
The Colbert ReportS3

China is on the rise, and to maintain supremacy, America's going to have to breed like Mormon squirrels.
02/13/2007
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03:28

Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Take the Pulse
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen takes ordinary Americans' questions about Chinese outsourcing, aphrodisiacs, games, families and bootleg DVDs.
02/13/2007
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06:40

Sheryl WuDunn
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks journalist Sheryl WuDunn whether China is a friend, a foe, or a frenemy.
02/13/2007
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04:44

The Word - Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Frenemy
The Colbert ReportS3

China is surpassing us everywhere, including in coal consumption, military personnel and executions -- because Texas can't do it alone.
02/13/2007
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02:53

Safe Sex for Senior Citizens
The Colbert ReportS3

A New York Times article reports that senior citizens are exploring safe sex. Stephen disapproves, and they're not the only ones Stephen is wishing a sexless Valentine's Day.
02/14/2007
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03:11

The Word - Bad Medicine
The Colbert ReportS3

It used to be easy to scare teens into not having sex by saying things like, "It's a sin," "You could have a baby," or "Your parents do it."
02/14/2007
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04:52

Sport Report - Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
The Colbert ReportS3

It's the time of the year when the real sports -- like the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show -- finally get their share of the spotlight.
02/14/2007
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00:45

Stephen Protects Valentine's Day
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen knows there's no better time to protect the sanctity of marriage than Valentine's Day, so he presents a montage of some of New York's most loving couples.
02/14/2007
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00:32

Intro - 2/14/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Political controversy rages over women's health in Texas, Stephen reviews the Westminster Dog Show, and Lance Armstrong explains why he never won the Tour de America.
02/14/2007
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01:29

Catching Up With China
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen said China had three times as many people at America and urged the Nation to procreate. It turns out China has four times more, so the need is even greater.
02/14/2007
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06:18

Lance Armstrong
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks Lance Armstrong if "Livestrong" isn't a little weak compared to "Livestronger" or "Livestrongest."
02/14/2007
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02:04

The 365 Most Influential Cultural Figures of 2007 - Candice Bergen
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is so keyed up for his being prayed for next week, he just can't stop thinking about it -- so he asks Candice Bergen what her prayer day was like.
02/15/2007
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05:43

Shashi Tharoor
The Colbert ReportS3

Shashi Tharoor explains that the UN consists of more than a bunch of blue-helmeted refugee-huggers.
02/15/2007
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05:13

Better Know a District - Arkansas' 2nd - Vic Snyder
The Colbert ReportS3

Representative Vic Snyder refuses to donate some of his mustache hairs to help cure little children of their diseases.
02/15/2007
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01:22

Helen Thomas's Chair
The Colbert ReportS3

There's going to be a new chair in the front row of the White House press room, and Fox and Friends wants it -- and Helen Thomas's too.
02/15/2007
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00:31

Intro - 2/15/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen explores the power of prayer, Arkansas's 2nd district, and why former undersecretary of the UN Shashi Tharoor will have to start paying his parking tickets.
02/15/2007
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04:52

The 365 Most Influential Cultural Figures of 2007 - J.J. Abrams
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen makes Mastermedia International's list of the 365 most influential cultural figures its members can pray for each day.
02/15/2007
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05:41

Zev Chafets
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen and author Zev Chafets get to the bottom of which of the two of them is the most Jewish.
02/26/2007
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00:31

Sign Off - The Stupidest Person in the World
The Colbert ReportS3

It's Monday night, and that means one thing -- it's time for The Stupidest Person in the World.
02/26/2007
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05:41

Stephen's Sound Advice - Avoiding Humiliation on the Campaign Trail
The Colbert ReportS3

With more people running for president than ever before, it's never been easier to lose.
02/26/2007
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00:35

Intro - 2/26/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The British announce plans to cut and run, Tom Vilsack drops out of the presidential race, and Zev Chafets angles for a Christmas present.
02/26/2007
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