The Colbert Report
Season 9 • 09/26/2013
OCEARCH founder Chris Fischer explains why the ocean needs lots of sharks.
MetallicaThe Colbert ReportS9
Lars Ulrich, James Hetfield, Robert Trujillo and Kirk Hammett talk about being angry in your 50s and performing on television.
Joseph Gordon-LevittThe Colbert ReportS9
"Don Jon" director Joseph Gordon-Levitt examines what porn and romantic comedies have in common.
Sport Report - Cranium Coddlers & San Francisco Street Chess - Floyd MayweatherThe Colbert ReportS9
The NCAA wussifies America by penalizing illegal football hits, and boxing champion Floyd Mayweather explains the dangers of street chess.
Ted Cruz's Obamacare "Filibuster"The Colbert ReportS9
During his 21-hour not-technically-a-filibuster filibuster, Senator Ted Cruz shares words of wisdom from "Duck Dynasty."
Sign Off - Ring AnnouncerThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen employs the suspended microphone.
Censorship for YouTube CommentsThe Colbert ReportS9
Google leads an unprecedented attack on YouTube's comments section, where global citizens gather to debate timeless topics like "Call Me Maybe" covers.
Intro - 9/26/13The Colbert ReportS9
Cable news brings back a classic series, Stephen reviews an exciting children's book, and conservationist Chris Fischer tracks great white sharks.
Americone Dream Product PlacementThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen's ice cream, Americone Dream, lands a key role in "Breaking Bad."
Time Travel Adventures with ConservativesThe Colbert ReportS9
Rush Limbaugh shares his version of the Thanksgiving story in "Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims," and Callista Gingrich teaches kids that all elephants are created equal.
Chris FischerThe Colbert ReportS9
OCEARCH founder Chris Fischer discusses the detrimental effects of shark finning in Asia.
Vince Gilligan Pt. 2The Colbert ReportS10
"Breaking Bad" creator Vince Gilligan compares his main character, Walter White, to John Wayne in "The Searchers."
Vince Gilligan Pt. 1The Colbert ReportS10
"Breaking Bad" creator Vince Gilligan discusses the fate of his main character, Walter White.
Tip/Wag - Butterball, Ashley Merryman & ScienceThe Colbert ReportS10
Butterball hires men to give manly cooking tips, New York Times writer Ashley Merryman studies losing, and scientists find fecal matter in holy water.
Rockin' Government Shutdown EveThe Colbert ReportS10
Thanks to the government being unable to agree on a resolution to fund itself, the government will shut down at midnight.
Daniel RadcliffeThe Colbert ReportS10
"Harry Potter" star Daniel Radcliffe talks about playing beat poet Allen Ginsberg in the biographical film "Kill Your Darlings."
National Hispanic Heritage MonthThe Colbert ReportS10
Fox News reports from the international foods aisle and presents flattering characterizations of Hispanic kids.
Affordable Care Act & Obama's Computerized AmericaThe Colbert ReportS10
As Americans flock to the Obamacare website, Fox News host Greta Van Susteren suggests that people without computers will be left behind.
Federal Government ShutdownThe Colbert ReportS10
The EPA loses most of its workforce, and the National Zoo's Panda Cam goes dark.
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