The Colbert Report

The Word - I Do, You Don't

Season 5 • 06/03/2009

Gay marriage shouldn't be separate but equal, just separate.

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07:17

The Colbert ReportS5
Cheating Death - Cheerios, Soda Paralysis & Oprah's Crazy Talk

Cheerios marketing receives FDA scrutiny, soda drinkers face paralysis, and Oprah endorses dubious health advice.
06/02/2009
00:38

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 6/2/09

The FDA challenges medical claims made by Cheerios, and Jim Moran protects kids from erectile dysfunction advertising.
06/02/2009
04:43

The Colbert ReportS5
Jim Moran vs. Viagra

Jim Moran introduces a bill that will ban erectile dysfunction ads from running during the day.
06/02/2009
05:21

The Colbert ReportS5
Katty Kay

Katty Kay explains the significant value of women in the workplace, even though they work in different ways than men.
06/02/2009
00:11

The Colbert ReportS5
Best Audience of the Night

This was Stephen's best audience of the night.
06/02/2009
Interview
06:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Eric Schlosser - "Food, Inc."

Eric Schlosser, co-producer of the documentary film "Food, Inc.," talks about the link between the rise of factory farms in the U.S. and the heightened risk of foodborne illnesses.
06/03/2009
00:35

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 6/3/09

California allows some gay couples to stay married, and Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July.
06/03/2009
04:47

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - 4th of July, Craig T. Nelson & GM

Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July, Craig T. Nelson stands up against big government, and GM fires its robots.
06/03/2009
00:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - "The Hollow Men"

This is the way the show ends Not with a bang but a whimper.
06/03/2009
02:26

The Colbert ReportS5
We Have a Death Star!

Now that America has a Death Star, Stephen works on his telekinetic choking abilities.
06/03/2009
04:29

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - I Do, You Don't

All marriages shouldn't be equal, but there should be so many separate kinds of marriage that the gays don't feel singled out.
06/03/2009
00:35

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 6/4/09

Wikipedia takes on the Church of Scientology, and the latest on abstinence-only education will be worth the wait.
06/04/2009
04:29

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Just Don't Do It

Teens, sex is as natural as the birds and the bees because you will be stung to death and have your eyes violently pecked out.
06/04/2009
01:57

The Colbert ReportS5
Wikipedia Bans Scientologists

Wikipedia bans Scientologists after finding Tom Cruise's entry listing him as 5'10".
06/04/2009
05:51

The Colbert ReportS5
Dag Soderberg

Dag Soderberg takes the Bible out of the bookshop and onto the coffee table with "Bible Illuminated."
06/04/2009
02:10

The Colbert ReportS5
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - External Lungs

External lungs increase office productivity by allowing employees to send them outside for a smoke break.
06/04/2009
04:04

The Colbert ReportS5
Operation Iraqi Stephen - John McCain

Stephen is thrilled to bring his show to Iraq, and John McCain has a word of advice for the troops.
06/08/2009
04:26

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen Strong - Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 1

Stephen doesn't get any special treatment when he participates in 10 full hours of basic training.
06/08/2009
00:24

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - New Haircut

Stephen offers thanks to the U.S.O. for helping him get to Iraq and to General Ray Odierno for his new haircut.
06/08/2009
02:45

The Colbert ReportS5
Operation Iraqi Stephen - Mysterious Trip

It's not a hoax after all -- Stephen mysteriously makes his way to Baghdad, Iraq.
06/08/2009
04:12

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Why Are You Here?

You will all want to remember where you were when you heard Stephen declare victory in Iraq.
06/08/2009
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