The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Headlines - Mars Attacked!

Season 8 • 01/07/2004

To scientists, Mars is like mistletoe.

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01:32

Intro - First Vegas Wedding
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Now that Britney Spears has gotten marriage over, she can go back to being a soulless marketing machine.
01/06/2004
03:48

Tom Brokaw Pt. 2
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Tom Brokaw discusses the differences between covering Republican and Democratic administrations.
01/06/2004
00:17

Moment of Zen - Democratic Nominee
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Governor Howard Dean pledges to support the Democratic Party's eventual nominee for president and urges his fellow candidates to do the same.
01/06/2004
00:22

Preview - 1/8/04
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon identifies several words hidden within the name "Charlize Theron."
01/07/2004
01:52

Headlines - Bovine Intervention
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The USDA bans cattle brains and spinal columns from the food market -- good news for consumers, bad news for Bennigan's new Smoky Vertebrae Poppers.
01/07/2004
00:08

Moment of Zen - Mars
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

A NASA official is not surprised by the recent images from Mars.
01/07/2004
04:50

Elijah Wood
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

If Elijah Wood goes into the music business, he'll either do it on his own terms or be a vicious prick.
01/07/2004
04:04

Back in Black - Regrettable Behavior
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Lewis Black reviews recent sports celebrity bad behavior -- Pete Rose's gambling admission, Joe Namath's sportscaster kissing and Steve Irwin's baby dangling.
01/07/2004
04:07

Mission to Mars
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

If we don't find a renewable supply of rocks on Mars, one day you may reach down for something to throw at your neighbor's window and nothing will be there.
01/07/2004
00:53

Intro - Lottery Jackpot
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

What kind of message does it send to people who work hard and spend all of their money on lottery tickets instead of food and clothing to still end up with nothing?
01/07/2004
02:35

Headlines - Mars Attacked!
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Mars -- it's like it almost reaches out to bore you.
01/07/2004
01:20

The Colbert Report - Preview
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

On the next Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert gives it good to some guy, plus he'll read portions of his new book, "Don't Buy This Book if You Don't Have Any Balls."
01/08/2004
00:15

Moment of Zen - US-VISIT
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Tom Ridge announces that the new security system, US-VISIT will pull the welcome mat from terrorists and anyone wishing America harm.
01/08/2004
06:14

Cruisin' for a Boozin'
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Louisiana decides to join Minnesota, California and every other state in making it illegal to drink and drive.
01/08/2004
02:59

Digital Watch - Camera Phone
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Ed Helms concludes the camera phone combines the rapid battery depletion of a high-powered digital camera with the image production capability of a phone.
01/08/2004
05:25

Charlize Theron
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Charlize Theron talks about the sympathy she felt for the serial killer she portrayed in her latest movie.
01/08/2004
03:13

Headlines - Catch Us if You Scan
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

As a nation founded by immigrants, America honors that heritage by preserving the pictures and fingerprints of everybody entering the country.
01/08/2004
00:43

Intro - Hobo
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Jon is still not smoking, he hasn't gained any weight, but he did kill a hobo with his bare hands again.
01/08/2004
01:05

Canada Cold
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Canadians aren't polite and quiet, they're frozen stiff.
01/12/2004
03:28

Celebrity Mole
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

The White House draws up Iraqi war plans, six months before the 9/11 attacks.
01/12/2004
00:43

Moment of Zen - Paul O'Neal
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS8

Former Treasury Secretary, Paul O'Neal doesn't think he'll be attacked for telling the truth about George W. Bush.
01/12/2004
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