The Colbert Report

Mahmoud's Non-Consensual Endorsement Deal

Season 5 • 03/12/2009

An Iranian store uses Stephen's image to sell men's clothing in Iran.

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Stephen's Encore

If you clap for 23.5 hours straight, Stephen will come back for an encore.
03/11/2009
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Intro - 3/11/09

Republicans turn to a classic novel for inspiration -- 'It was the worst of times, it was the worster of times.'
03/11/2009
06:46

The Colbert ReportS5
Howard Fineman

Howard Fineman believes Americans were born and bred to argue.
03/11/2009
05:25

The Colbert ReportS5
Cheating Death - Legal, Sweat & Pre-Natal Health

For those who want custom babies, but can't afford designer prices, Prescott introduces the Build-A-Baby Workshop.
03/11/2009
01:01

The Colbert ReportS5
Earmarks Abuse Ends Tomorrow

Obama announces the end of earmarks abuse, and then signs an appropriations bill containing nearly 9,000 earmarks.
03/11/2009
00:36

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/12/09

Guess where Stephen's face is showing up now -- besides your grilled cheese sandwiches.
03/12/2009
02:06

The Colbert ReportS5
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Barreleye Fish

National Geographic releases footage of a fish that has a see-through head and twitching green sacks of goo for eyes.
03/12/2009
07:51

The Colbert ReportS5
It Could Be Worse - Simon Johnson

Simon Johnson explains why America's economy resembles an unstable, emerging market.
03/12/2009
00:05

The Colbert ReportS5
Goodnight

That's it for the Report tonight.
03/12/2009
05:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Peter Singer

Peter Singer urges Stephen to give money to poor people rather than enjoying it himself.
03/12/2009
04:01

The Colbert ReportS5
Mahmoud's Non-Consensual Endorsement Deal

If Iran is going to use Stephen to sell products he hasn't endorsed over there, he'll use Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sell products over here.
03/12/2009
02:26

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen's Angry Mob Will Crush AIG

The government can't stop AIG, but Stephen's angry mob can.
03/16/2009
00:19

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen Wants to Hug You

Stephen wants to hug every one of you.
03/16/2009
05:00

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a Governor - Mark Sanford Update

Stephen asks South Carolina's Mark Sanford what barbeque sauce he wants for his last meal.
03/16/2009
05:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Neil Gaiman

Neil Gaiman replaces being scared of dead people with being afraid of living people in his new book "The Graveyard Book."
03/16/2009
00:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/16/09

Your tax money is being spent on executive bonuses. At least it's not going to welfare.
03/16/2009
05:21

The Colbert ReportS5
The New Deal - Jonathan Chait

Jonathan Chait believes the New Deal was successful because it eased people's misery.
03/16/2009
00:23

The Colbert ReportS5
Persian Gulf Countdown Clock

Stephen is one day closer, or further away, to going to the Persian Gulf.
03/17/2009
03:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Shout Out - The Colbert Report Overseas

The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future -- or past.
03/17/2009
00:32

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 3/17/09

How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, they have weather-control machines.
03/17/2009
05:04

The Colbert ReportS5
World of Nahlej - Shmeat

PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
03/17/2009
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