The Colbert Report

Cheating Death - Rage & Blood Transfusions

Season 9 • 01/08/2013

A German study says anger leads to longevity while the blood of the young improves memory.

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05:30

The Colbert ReportS9
Blood in the Water - Bill O'Reilly's Racial Insensitivity

Wikipedia's elephants page has more protection than elephants, and the liberal media twists Bill O'Reilly's compliment about Asians.
01/07/2013
04:59

The Colbert ReportS9
Jimmy Wales

Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales explains operating costs, censorship in China and the budding Wikivoyager.
01/07/2013
00:07

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen says goodnight.
01/07/2013
02:44

The Colbert ReportS9
Fiscal Cliff Deal & Disincentives

Republicans accept President Obama's tax hikes on the wealthy, but luckily this horrible deal contains a few loopholes.
01/07/2013
02:53

The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen's Holiday Break

Stephen spends the first six days of vacation just going to the bathroom.
01/07/2013
04:08

The Colbert ReportS9
Bin Laden Film Controversy

Since America is long overdue for a thorough investigation into its use of torture in movies, the Senate Intelligence Committee goes after "Zero Dark Thirty."
01/08/2013
05:58

The Colbert ReportS9
Chris Kluwe

Chris Kluwe explains the punter's role and reiterates his support for pro-gay Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo.
01/08/2013
02:27

The Colbert ReportS9
Postage Price Hike

The USPS Forever Stamp goes up by one penny, which proves the government can't do anything right.
01/08/2013
00:13

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - VACSA-TERN

Stephen sips on the blood of the young and admires himself in the mirror.
01/08/2013
00:38

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 1/8/13

Science finds the key to a long, healthy life, "Zero Dark Thirty" stirs up controversy, and NFL punter Chris Kluwe discusses gay rights advocacy.
01/08/2013
07:05

The Colbert ReportS9
Cheating Death - Rage & Blood Transfusions

People naturally blessed with soul-choking bitterness live longer than the terminally calm, and drinking young blood is a great alternative to exercising.
01/08/2013
05:19

The Colbert ReportS9
Neil Shubin

The biological scientist shares his book, "The Universe Within: Discovering the Common History of Rocks, Planets, and People."
01/09/2013
04:51

The Colbert ReportS9
Gun Control Backlash

Schools work armed officers into their prom themes, and former NRA President Marion Hammer knows that outlawing assault weapons is just another form of discrimination.
01/09/2013
00:32

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 1/9/13

America considers gun control, a troubling food addiction surfaces, and paleontologist Neil Shubin finds the missing link between sea and land creatures.
01/09/2013
03:38

The Colbert ReportS9
Idaho's Walled & Armed Community

An exciting real estate opportunity boasts family shooting ranges, a firearms factory and safety from federal thugs.
01/09/2013
00:09

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - McGnaw the Gluten-Free Beaver

Stephen says goodnight and gnaws on McGnaw's piece of wood.
01/09/2013
06:18

The Colbert ReportS9
Thought for Food - Wheat Addictions

America gets hooked on a new substance that's just as addictive as crack: a loaf of bread.
01/09/2013
03:00

The Colbert ReportS9
Roadside Sofa Boning

A 46-year-old man is arrested for having sex with a couch, so public schools start teaching safe sex with plastic slipcovers.
01/10/2013
03:43

The Colbert ReportS9
Benjamin Gibbard

The lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie discusses his relatively universal solo album, "Former Lives."
01/10/2013
05:19

The Colbert ReportS9
Obama's Failed Second Term

President Obama is turning out the way white males wanted him to, and Jack Lew's sloppy signature will make America's currency a laughingstock.
01/10/2013
04:36

The Colbert ReportS9
Tip/Wag - HAPIfork & Kevin Garnett

A consumer technology keeps people from consuming, and Kevin Garnett dishes out some Hefty brand trash talk.
01/10/2013
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