The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 05/16/2007
If forced to vote Republican, Howard Dean would pick Stephen and Bill O'Reilly.
The Colbert ReportS3 Pasadena, India
Stephen reports on the demise of the mainstream media with a story about two reporters in India who are covering local Pasadena news.
The Colbert ReportS3 Bonus Wag - Bush Graphic
Stephen gives a bonus wag to CNN International for airing a "Bush Resigns" graphic when they meant Tony Blair. He then shows us exactly how much time Bush has left in office.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/15/07
A college student objects to watching "An Inconvenient Truth," Stephen sees things in Wolf Blitzer's beard and Walter Isaacson joins Stephen to talk Einstein.
The Colbert ReportS3 R.I.P. Ted Maiman
Stephen pays tribute to Dr. Ted Maiman, the inventor of the first working laser. He honors him by letting him know that his ray of light was a true ray of light.
The Colbert ReportS3 McNulty Guilty
Stephen is so excited to announce that Deputy Attorney General Paul J. McNulty has resigned, he draws a Fu Manchu on his face.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Name of City Here
Stephen says goodnight to name of city here.
The Colbert ReportS3 Formidable Opponent - Peanuts
President Bush is the Lucy in Chief and we have to trust his handling of the Iraq ball. Don't do it, Charlie Brown!
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Level Playing Field
Like Rudy Giuliani, Paralympic sprinter Oscar Pistorius is simply turning a misfortune into an advantage.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/16/07
Stephen asks if athletes with prosthetics should compete in the Olympics, how much time we should give the surge in Iraq, and how Howard Dean rigged the midterm elections.
The Colbert ReportS3 Second Republican Debate
Republican presidential candidates --you can say you're pro-torture all you want, but actions scream louder than words.
The Colbert ReportS3 Howard Dean
Stephen asks Howard Dean, hypothetically, which candidate would he support: Arack Bobama or Mallory Vinton?
The Colbert ReportS3 The Hammer Is Here!
Stephen gets fired up for his interview with Tom DeLay, and Greenpeace rebuilds Noah's ark.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tom DeLay
Stephen asks Tom DeLay, author of "No Retreat, No Surrender," how to get rid of this country's Democrat infestation.
The Colbert ReportS3 Randy Kearse
Stephen asks Randy Kearse, author of "Changin' Your Game Plan," if he has any advice for a certain former majority leader.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/17/07
In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay and learns the best way to use your time in prison.
The Colbert ReportS3 Baby Gun Permit
A child should be at least 18 months old before he can own a gun.
The Colbert ReportS3 Jared Diamond
Jared Diamond explains how a conflagration of agriculture and resources helped Eurasians conquer the world.
The Colbert ReportS3 Cheating Death - Internal Decapitation
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA dispenses the health advice, mostly focusing around substitutes for Vaxadrin.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - His Way
Stephen compares Paul Wolfowitz's exit from the World Bank to his own exit from The Daily Show.
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