The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 05/16/2007
If forced to vote Republican, Howard Dean would pick Stephen and Bill O'Reilly.
Pasadena, IndiaThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen reports on the demise of the mainstream media with a story about two reporters in India who are covering local Pasadena news.
Bonus Wag - Bush GraphicThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen gives a bonus wag to CNN International for airing a "Bush Resigns" graphic when they meant Tony Blair. He then shows us exactly how much time Bush has left in office.
Intro - 5/15/07The Colbert ReportS3
A college student objects to watching "An Inconvenient Truth," Stephen sees things in Wolf Blitzer's beard and Walter Isaacson joins Stephen to talk Einstein.
R.I.P. Ted MaimanThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen pays tribute to Dr. Ted Maiman, the inventor of the first working laser. He honors him by letting him know that his ray of light was a true ray of light.
McNulty GuiltyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is so excited to announce that Deputy Attorney General Paul J. McNulty has resigned, he draws a Fu Manchu on his face.
Sign Off - Name of City HereThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen says goodnight to name of city here.
Formidable Opponent - PeanutsThe Colbert ReportS3
President Bush is the Lucy in Chief and we have to trust his handling of the Iraq ball. Don't do it, Charlie Brown!
The Word - Level Playing FieldThe Colbert ReportS3
Like Rudy Giuliani, Paralympic sprinter Oscar Pistorius is simply turning a misfortune into an advantage.
Intro - 5/16/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks if athletes with prosthetics should compete in the Olympics, how much time we should give the surge in Iraq, and how Howard Dean rigged the midterm elections.
Second Republican DebateThe Colbert ReportS3
Republican presidential candidates --you can say you're pro-torture all you want, but actions scream louder than words.
Howard DeanThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Howard Dean, hypothetically, which candidate would he support: Arack Bobama or Mallory Vinton?
The Hammer Is Here!The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen gets fired up for his interview with Tom DeLay, and Greenpeace rebuilds Noah's ark.
Tom DeLayThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Tom DeLay, author of "No Retreat, No Surrender," how to get rid of this country's Democrat infestation.
Randy KearseThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Randy Kearse, author of "Changin' Your Game Plan," if he has any advice for a certain former majority leader.
Intro - 5/17/07The Colbert ReportS3
In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay and learns the best way to use your time in prison.
Baby Gun PermitThe Colbert ReportS3
A child should be at least 18 months old before he can own a gun.
Jared DiamondThe Colbert ReportS3
Jared Diamond explains how a conflagration of agriculture and resources helped Eurasians conquer the world.
Cheating Death - Internal DecapitationThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA dispenses the health advice, mostly focusing around substitutes for Vaxadrin.
The Word - His WayThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen compares Paul Wolfowitz's exit from the World Bank to his own exit from The Daily Show.
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