The Colbert Report
Bipartisan Immigration Reform
Season 9 • 02/04/2013
Senate Republicans work with Democrats, and Obama's immigration plan treats gay families equally.
The Colbert ReportS9 Matthew Guerrieri
Music critic Matthew Guerrieri examines Symphony No. 5, German Romanticism and Beethoven's dating life.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sport Report - Gatorade Chemicals & Chicken Wing Shortage
Gatorade without flame retardant is like hotdogs without pig sphincter, and chicken thieves run a-fowl as wing prices fly high.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - Welcome Baby Sanchez!
Stephen congratulates his wardrobe mistress who just gave birth to the newest citizen of Colbert Nation.
The Colbert ReportS9 Craziest F#?King Thing I've Ever Heard - Crows Using Tools
A bird demonstrates higher-level thinking while Big Bird, after 40 years, still needs help counting to 10.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sport Report - Ads for Ads & Deer Antler Spray
TiVo watchers practice fast-forwarding, and Sports Illustrated accuses Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis of deer antler doping.
The Colbert ReportS9 Skeet Shooting Skeptics
If President Obama really loved guns, he'd be waving them around at a petting zoo and picking off baby goats, not skeet shooting.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sonia Sotomayor
Justice Sotomayor discusses her funny colleagues, self-reliant childhood and most conservative belief as an Independent.
The Colbert ReportS9 Super Bowl XLVII
Budweiser turns out a tearjerker ad, Beyonce ends the halftime tradition of arthritic legends, and the Superdome loses power for 35 minutes.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 2/4/13
The GOP tries to appeal to Hispanics, President Obama seeks support from gun owners, and Sonia Sotomayor is the first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - Second Amendment
Stephen reviews the Second Amendment and says goodnight.
The Colbert ReportS9 Bipartisan Immigration Reform
Latino immigrants deserve the same Social Security, Medicare and public education benefits that all Americans are slowly losing.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - Final Rose
Stephen accepts an iconic reality show prop.
The Colbert ReportS9 Tip/Wag - Drunk Donating & "The Job" Reality Show
Houston patrons vote on which charity should receive a bar's proceeds, and CBS turns America's unemployment problem into America's entertainment solution.
The Colbert ReportS9 Royal Remains
Archeologists discover King Richard III's remains beneath a supermarket parking lot, which explains his famous last words: "My kingdom for a Hot Pocket!"
The Colbert ReportS9 Julie Andrews
Julie Andrews discusses her Dame Commander rank, latest children's book and celebrated role as Mary Poppins.
The Colbert ReportS9 California's Heroic Hitchhiker
A young man named Kai proves that hatchet-bearing hitchhikers are people too -- people who sometimes stop madmen from running loose on the freeway.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 2/5/13
There's a new way to donate to charity, Stephen honors an improbable hero, and Julie Andrews considers whether or not the hills are still alive.
The Colbert ReportS9 Stephen's Sister for Congress
As an objective broadcast journalist, Stephen will not be mentioning that his sister is intelligent, hardworking, compassionate and dedicated to the people of South Carolina.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - Watermelon Warning
Stephen responds to Scientology President David Miscavige.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 2/6/13
A surprising candidate runs for Congress, America reassesses the penny, and Lawrence Wright promotes his book, "Going Clear."
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