The Colbert Report
Season 9 • 04/04/2013
NIH Director Francis Collins hooks Stephen up to a brain wave monitor.
A.C. GraylingThe Colbert ReportS9
The philosopher shares his book, "The God Argument: The Case Against Religion and for Humanism."
Sign Off - Campaign PosterThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen makes a poster for his sister, House candidate Elizabeth Colbert Busch.
RNC Young Voters SurveyThe Colbert ReportS9
The Republican Party's SurveyMonkey survey addresses young voters' love of diversity and how to come out of the closet.
Gun Control & Barn OrgiesThe Colbert ReportS9
Louie Gohmert's logical argument against gun control has proven that any liberal policy eventually leads to sex with animals.
"Morning Joe" vs. The Colbert ReportThe Colbert ReportS9
Joe Scarborough airs a pure infomercial for his buddy and congressional candidate Mark Sanford, which inspires Stephen to endorse Mark's opponent, Elizabeth Colbert Busch.
Obama's BRAIN InitiativeThe Colbert ReportS9
If the gun registry is just a plot to take away America's guns, then Obama's brain registry is just a ploy to take away its brains.
Intro - 4/4/13The Colbert ReportS9
The Obama administration starts a science initiative, and NIH Director Francis Collins tries to map out the brain.
Pegasus Pipeline SpillThe Colbert ReportS9
For legal and tax reasons, the black, sticky stuff that surged through an Arkansas suburb isn't classified as oil; it's "diluted bitumen."
Koko & Jeremy Irons on Gay MarriageThe Colbert ReportS9
Koko the talking gorilla conveys her sadness, and Jeremy Irons's anti-gay comments aren't offensive because he eventually wishes everybody well.
Francis CollinsThe Colbert ReportS9
BRAIN Initiative project director Francis Collins discusses the most complicated biological structure in the universe.
Colbert Galactic Initiative - Bill Clinton Pt. 1The Colbert ReportS9
President Bill Clinton explains why he doesn't call the Clinton Global Initiative the Clinton American Initiative.
Colbert Galactic Initiative - Bill Clinton Pt. 2The Colbert ReportS9
President Bill Clinton discusses his time restraints as president and his "totally selfish" aid work, including agricultural projects in Rwanda and Malawi.
Sign Off - Colbert Galactic InitiativeThe Colbert ReportS9
Bill Clinton says goodnight and reminds Stephen that he succumbed to the famed Clinton charisma.
Colbert Galactic Initiative - Bill Clinton Pt. 3The Colbert ReportS9
President Bill Clinton advocates political participation, praises social networks and utilizes his new Twitter account, @PrezBillyJeff.
Colbert Galactic InitiativeThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen introduces the Colbert Galactic Initiative, salutes Clinton Global Initiative University students, and readies the stage for President Bill Clinton.
Exxon's Disaster ReliefThe Colbert ReportS9
Exxon tries to put the Pegasus pipeline oil back underground where it came from and employs a time-honored cleanup technique pioneered by drunk guys.
Charlie LeDuffThe Colbert ReportS9
Detroit native Charlie LeDuff discusses white flight, black flight, business flight and "dead flight" in his hometown.
Clinton Global Initiative University Exchange FairThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen joins Bill and Chelsea Clinton to check out problem-solving projects, like helmet concussion sensors and fecal-powered toilets.
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