The Colbert Report

Najibullah Zazi Threatens Beauty Supplies

Season 5 • 10/01/2009

Terror suspect Najibullah Zazi infringes upon America's free use of beauty supplies.

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00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight, Grammy
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight to his grammy.
09/30/2009
02:41

Send Your Medical Bills to Max Baucus
The Colbert ReportS5

Senator Max Baucus will pay for your medical bills from the $3.2 million he's received from the health care industry.
09/30/2009
03:39

A Pace Odyssey
The Colbert ReportS5

NASA begins assembling Stephen's treadmill so America's famously fat astronauts can get trim in space.
09/30/2009
05:42

Richard Dawkins
The Colbert ReportS5

After offering evidence for evolution, Richard Dawkins wants to see the evidence for God.
09/30/2009
07:14

ThreatDown - Environmentalists, Kang Lee & Mountain Pine Beetles
The Colbert ReportS5

Environmentalists target soft toilet paper, Kang Lee exposes the lies parents tell kids, and mountain pine beetles prevent us from shooting bears.
09/30/2009
00:29

Intro - 9/30/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen has an update on his space treadmill, and he'll evolve Richard Dawkins' book into tiny shreds of paper.
09/30/2009
04:11

Francis Collins
The Colbert ReportS5

Francis Collins informs Stephen that it's going to take time for stem cell research to give him crab claws.
10/01/2009
05:09

Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 1
The Colbert ReportS5

Competitive eater Brad Sciullo wants to prove anything is possible by finishing a 15-pound hamburger called "The Belly Buster."
10/01/2009
00:25

Sign Off - New Slang
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen introduces some new slang into the teen lexicon.
10/01/2009
08:03

2016 Olympics in Chicago - George Wendt
The Colbert ReportS5

George Wendt and Stephen trash talk Rio de Janeiro, Madrid and Tokyo for competing against Chicago's 2016 Olympics bid.
10/01/2009
02:03

Najibullah Zazi Threatens Beauty Supplies
The Colbert ReportS5

Suspected terrorist Najibullah Zazi threatens America's unregulated use of beauty supplies.
10/01/2009
06:30

Arne Duncan
The Colbert ReportS5

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan wants longer school hours so American students can compete with the rest of the world.
10/05/2009
04:42

Eating the Distance - The Brad Sciullo Story Pt. 2
The Colbert ReportS5

Brad Sciullo's training regime of drinking, vomiting and trout prepares him to conquer "The Belly Buster."
10/05/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report.
10/05/2009
01:25

Americans for Prosperity Cheer Chicago's Failure
The Colbert ReportS5

The conservative group, Americans for Prosperity, cheers when they hear the news of Chicago's failure to host the 2016 Olympics.
10/05/2009
00:34

Intro - 10/5/09
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama proposes a longer school year, and Arne Duncan could only get a job as a secretary.
10/05/2009
05:46

The Word - Learning Is Fundamental
The Colbert ReportS5

As a fifth grader and small businessman, Andy Gellman has to think about how longer school hours will affect the economy.
10/05/2009
03:28

John Darnielle
The Colbert ReportS5

John Darnielle discusses his cheerfully desolate song lyrics and his respect for suicidal mountain goats.
10/06/2009
04:32

Formula 401: A Star Is Born
The Colbert ReportS5

Your baby can look like whichever celebrity Stephen impersonates while creating Formula 401: A Star Is Born.
10/06/2009
01:09

New Swine Flu Vaccine Drops
The Colbert ReportS5

The swine flu vaccine shoots straight to the top of the vaccine charts, blowing away Japanese encephalitis.
10/06/2009
07:10

The Road Ahead in Afghanistan - Lara Logan
The Colbert ReportS5

As President Obama decides how to move forward in Afghanistan, Lara Logan explains the goals of Al Qaeda and the Taliban.
10/06/2009
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