The Colbert Report
Season 9 • 12/13/2012
The Executive Director of NETWORK talks about Christmas, pluralism, poverty and Paul Ryan.
ThreatDown - Commie Unicorns & Foreman BarbieThe Colbert ReportS9
North Korean unicorns attract impressionable American girls to communism while Barbie spearheads the mancession.
Ex-Gay Therapy DebateThe Colbert ReportS9
Therapy aimed at turning gay kids straight can cause depression and suicide, but outlawing it would require America to sit back and let people be gay.
Fiscal Cliff NegotiationsThe Colbert ReportS9
The Fiscal Cliff is coming to town, so all pundits are contractually obligated to talk about exciting budgetary policy for the next 20 days.
Ground Zero Mosque-eradeThe Colbert ReportS9
With no juicy stories to get angry about, Fox News pulls out the emergency Muslims and criticizes their lack of community programming.
Success for Operation Killing "Killing Kennedy"The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen's book and nativity scene accessory, "America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't," tops Bill O'Reilly's book on Amazon.
Stephen's Appointment with Destiny - Jeff BingamanThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen starts to rake in endorsements for Jim DeMint's Senate seat, so Stephen's future-former colleague from New Mexico helps him prep for the job.
Mandy PatinkinThe Colbert ReportS9
Emmy winner Mandy Patinkin describes his character on "Homeland" and shares a comprehensive perspective on terrorism.
Uncensored - "Breaking Abbey"The Colbert ReportS9
First Lady Michelle Antoinette previews the next season of "Downton Abbey" while the world's commoners are left to fear what will become of the aristocrats.
Colbert Super PAC - The Ham Rove Memorial FundThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen prays that Colbert Super PAC money is in a better place, and Ham's charitable fund scores a hefty donation from PO Box "Bite Me."
Hurricane Sandy Mega ConcertThe Colbert ReportS9
Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen and Eric Clapton were all just opening acts for rock legend Stephen Colbert at the 12/12/12 Hurricane Sandy benefit.
Simone CampbellThe Colbert ReportS9
Sister Simone Campbell discusses her "Nuns on the Bus" tour and explains how Paul Ryan's budget battle fails Jesus and the Constitution.
The Platinum Debt Ceiling SolutionThe Colbert ReportS9
Minting trillion dollar platinum coins to pay off America's debt is legal in that it is not technically illegal.
Intro - 1/7/13The Colbert ReportS9
America dodges a financial crisis, the PC police attack Bill O'Reilly, and Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales chats about his free encyclopedia.
Blood in the Water - Bill O'Reilly's Racial InsensitivityThe Colbert ReportS9
Wikipedia's elephants page has more protection than elephants, and the liberal media twists Bill O'Reilly's compliment about Asians.
Jimmy WalesThe Colbert ReportS9
Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales explains operating costs, censorship in China and the budding Wikivoyager.
Fiscal Cliff Deal & DisincentivesThe Colbert ReportS9
Republicans accept President Obama's tax hikes on the wealthy, but luckily this horrible deal contains a few loopholes.
Stephen's Holiday BreakThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen spends the first six days of vacation just going to the bathroom.
Cheating Death - Rage & Blood TransfusionsThe Colbert ReportS9
People naturally blessed with soul-choking bitterness live longer than the terminally calm, and drinking young blood is a great alternative to exercising.
Bin Laden Film ControversyThe Colbert ReportS9
Since America is long overdue for a thorough investigation into its use of torture in movies, the Senate Intelligence Committee goes after "Zero Dark Thirty."
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