The Colbert Report
End of the Universe
Season 3 • 10/02/2007
Stephen is glad the USA Today has its priorities straight.
The Word - EvitableThe Colbert ReportS3
When it comes to Iran, the president will do the one thing that is inevitable: whatever he wants.
Cheating Death - SleepThe Colbert ReportS3
If work is interfering with your sleep, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert says sleep while you work.
Charlie SavageThe Colbert ReportS3
Charlie Savage says President Bush is acting like a king -- sounds like someone didn't get dukedom!
Intro - 10/1/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen wonders if we're preparing for war with Iran, questions whether sleep deprivation can kill you and hopes we can feed the press corps to the lions.
What Number Is Stephen Thinking Of? - Between One and TenThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is thinking of a number between one and 10.
John MearsheimerThe Colbert ReportS3
John Mearsheimer believes that concern for Israel controls U.S. foreign policy; Stephen thought it was Dick Cheney.
The Word - Troops Out NowThe Colbert ReportS3
In an alternate universe, Stephen smokes a peace pipe and tells us The Word.
The Real ShowdownThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen puts his career on the line and issues a challenge to author Paul Krugman.
Nailed 'Em - CyberroristsThe Colbert ReportS3
Rest easy, America. The Kent County Police nailed another cyber terrorist.
Intro - 10/2/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen questions whether tonight's show is happening in a giant's finger, cracks down on cybercrime and finds reality offensive.
End of the UniverseThe Colbert ReportS3
A story like the end of the universe is definitely not something you want to put on the front page.
Gay Roundup - Dan SavageThe Colbert ReportS3
Dan Savage gives his expert opinion on hate crime legislation.
Alpha Dog of the Week - President BushThe Colbert ReportS3
President Bush leaps from the back of the pack to the lead husky, leaving the rest of the world staring at his swinging sack.
Krugman CorrectionThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen finds out that Paul Krugman has in fact changed the release date of his book.
Monkey on the Lam - MissouriThe Colbert ReportS3
A monkey escaped from the University of Missouri in 1943 and remains at large to this day.
Intro - 10/3/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen counts down the days till his book comes out, and discusses gay issues while thinking about straight issues.
Jim LovellThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Jim Lovell if there's anything cooler than going to the moon.
ThreatDown - Science and Technology EditionThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen decries remote controls, hybrid cars, careless scientists, white chocolate and robotic vacuums.
The Word - CatastropheThe Colbert ReportS3
North Korea's agreement to peacefully disarm its nuclear program is a catastrophe, since the United States doesn't negotiate with terrorists. (Just joking, Saudi Arabia.)
An "I Am America (And So Can You!)" Success StoryThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen hears a testimonial from a reader of his book, "I Am America (And So Can You!)."
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