The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Get Your Illegal Fireworks
Season 5 • 07/01/2009
Your illegal fireworks shopping days are running out.
Is It Time To Care About Soccer?The Colbert ReportS5
Normally, Stephen wouldn't think twice about soccer, but that was before the U.S. was good at it.
4th of July Under AttackThe Colbert ReportS5
An environmental activist sues Seattle to suspend their 4th of July fireworks display in pristine Gas Works Park.
Al Franken Finally Declared SenatorThe Colbert ReportS5
The Minnesota Supreme Court rushes to declare Al Franken the Senate race winner after barely seven months of deliberation.
Kevin MattsonThe Colbert ReportS5
Kevin Mattson discusses the relevance of Jimmy Carter's underappreciated "national malaise" speech.
Nicholas KristofThe Colbert ReportS5
Nicholas Kristof describes the endocrine disruptors in the water that are causing genital malformations in male animals and humans.
Intro - 7/1/09The Colbert ReportS5
The Supreme Court takes its recess, and Nicholas Kristof discusses "It's Time to Learn From Frogs" after crossing five lanes of busy traffic.
Tip/Wag - Cynthia Davis & Fox NewsThe Colbert ReportS5
Representative Cynthia Davis opposes subsidized lunches for low-income children, and Fox News incorrectly identifies Mark Sanford as a Democrat.
The Second Coming of Ronald ReaganThe Colbert ReportS5
Soon, Reagan will ride into town on the back of his mighty steed, Bonzo, and the Potomac will run red with the blood of bureaucrats.
Judge, Jury & Executioner - Firefighters, Gold Waste & Strip SearchThe Colbert ReportS5
The Supreme Court releases its decisions on firefighters' tests, goldmine waste and school strip searches.
The Clinton CurseThe Colbert ReportS5
Mark Sanford joins other victims of the Clinton curse like Bob Livingston, Larry Craig and Newt Gingrich.
Sign Off - Get Your Illegal FireworksThe Colbert ReportS5
Don't forget, there are only three more illegal fireworks shopping days until the 4th of July.
Ed ViestursThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen punches Ed Viesturs' Frequent Everest Card after his seventh climb to the summit of Mount Everest.
Re-Report - Lost Treasures of BabylonThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen shows more footage of basic training at Fort Jackson, flying with the Thunderbirds, and putting care packages together with Tom Hanks.
CNN Finds Bubbles the ChimpThe Colbert ReportS5
Anderson Cooper uncovers shocking news about Bubbles the Chimp: he likes cucumbers and bananas.
Intro - 7/2/09The Colbert ReportS5
Congress passes a renewable energy bill, and climber Ed Viesturs scales Stephen's ego.
The Word - Ban de SoleilThe Colbert ReportS5
The sun is a dangerous, unchecked nuclear power that causes global warming, and it must be put out.
Paul KrugmanThe Colbert ReportS5
Paul Krugman says the stimulus package is enough to help, but not enough to cure the economic crisis.
VA Backlog - Paul RieckhoffThe Colbert ReportS5
If Stephen gets 25,000 votes, Paul Rieckhoff will make him an honorary member of the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America.
Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Bork a NomineeThe Colbert ReportS5
If Republicans want to stop Sonia Sotomayor's nomination, they must accuse her of bigotry, uncover her secrets and make her weigh in on abortion.
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