The Colbert Report
The Word - Hippie Replacement
Season 5 • 08/04/2009
If you can't have an actual popular grassroots movement against health care reform, just say you do.
Tony ZinniThe Colbert ReportS5
General Tony Zinni cites David Petraeus, Barack Obama and Richard Branson as examples of great leaders.
Bears & Balls - How to Pay for Health CareThe Colbert ReportS5
Democrats want to pay for health care reform by taxing sodas and killing old people.
Nailed 'Em - War on Birth ControlThe Colbert ReportS5
The Fairfax County School Board nails a teen junkie for taking birth control in the cafeteria.
Dominic Philip's Book HabitThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen cures Dominic Philip's reading habit by sending him an entire box of books and forcing him to read every last one of them.
Intro - 8/3/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama finds a way to pay for health care, and General Anthony Zinni will wax Stephen's chest.
Kurt AndersenThe Colbert ReportS5
According to Kurt Andersen, the economic and health crises give Americans a brief chance to get things where they want them.
Sign Off - Love Makes the World Go RoundThe Colbert ReportS5
Love makes the world go round, so stop hogging all the credit, physics.
Colbert Bump Cocktail - David WondrichThe Colbert ReportS5
David Wondrich serves Stephen drinks from the Great Depression and the Civil War, and invents a Colbert Bump cocktail.
Merry BarackmasThe Colbert ReportS5
Karl Marx takes gifts from Stephen to give to lazy people who don't deserve nice things.
The Word - Hippie ReplacementThe Colbert ReportS5
Soon America's grassroots people-power movements will be rid of the one thing that's holding them back: people.
Human WeekThe Colbert ReportS5
Since sharks don't kill that many people, the Discovery Channel should replace their Shark Week with Human Week.
2010 Midterms - Joe SestakThe Colbert ReportS5
Joe Sestak is running against Arlen Specter for the Pennsylvania Senate seat so he can bring health care reform to all Americans.
Bill Clinton's Personal AppearanceThe Colbert ReportS5
Bill Clinton frees two journalists from North Korea, but Laura Ling leaves without her delicious sandwich.
Kris KobachThe Colbert ReportS5
Kris Kobach wants to fight illegal immigration on the local level and reward the people willing to come to this country legally.
Meryl StreepThe Colbert ReportS5
Meryl Streep won't feel responsible if her role as Julia Child influences kids to think cooking is cool.
Intro - 8/6/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen reviews the movies that are destroying America and talks to Meryl Streep about her role as Julia Child.
Yahweh or No Way - Dinosaur Adventure Land & Black Market KidneysThe Colbert ReportS5
The founder of a creationist dinosaur theme park refuses to pay taxes, President Obama may be a secret Mormon, and a Jewish man trades kidneys on the black market.
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