The Colbert Report

Intro - 11/30/09

Season 5 • 11/30/2009

Denmark will host an environmental summit after they finish painting a bike lane across the Atlantic.

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00:35

Intro - 11/18/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Sarah Palin has a 400-page book, "2012" takes the world by storm, and Norah Jones talks about her famous father, Indiana.
11/18/2009
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00:17

Sign Off - Thanks, Elvis Costello
The Colbert ReportS5

Elvis Costello will come back and do a song with Stephen when he gets his voice back.
11/19/2009
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05:33

Tip/Wag - U.S. Speedskating Team, NY Lottery & William Phillips
The Colbert ReportS5

The U.S. Speedskating team wins at the World Cup, the New York Lottery goes upscale, and a fifth grader refuses to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
11/19/2009
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02:03

Stephen Shakes His Moneymaker
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen liquidates his investments and injects them into his ass after the Senate introduces a tax on plastic surgery.
11/19/2009
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05:26

Celebrating the AK-47 - John Pike
The Colbert ReportS5

John Pike talks about the popularity of the AK-47 as the Russian designer celebrates his 90th birthday.
11/19/2009
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00:33

Amateur Hour at the White House
The Colbert ReportS5

Joe Biden crashes President Obama's state dinner to get on "The Real Housewives of Delaware."
11/30/2009
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05:39

Cevin Soling
The Colbert ReportS5

Cevin Soling says public schools have been transformed into prisons because of an overdependence on security.
11/30/2009
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06:39

Something Is Melting in Denmark - Dan Esty
The Colbert ReportS5

Dan Esty believes President Obama will bring a change in spirit to the United Nations Climate Change Conference.
11/30/2009
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06:27

Better Know a Lobby - Ploughshares Fund
The Colbert ReportS5

Joseph Cirincione plays "Sanction, Bomb, Marry?" with Iran, Pakistan and North Korea.
11/30/2009
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00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for the show, everybody.
11/30/2009
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00:36

Intro - 11/30/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Copenhagen hosts an environmental summit, Stephen talks to an advocate for nuclear disarmament, and Cevin Soling says schools have turned into prisons.
11/30/2009
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06:00

Gold, Frankincense and Mars - Guy Consolmagno
The Colbert ReportS5

Brother Guy Consolmagno explains why the Vatican accepts the possibility of alien life.
12/01/2009
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06:09

Sherman Alexie
The Colbert ReportS5

Sherman Alexie criticizes digital technology for taking away the local celebration and appreciation of books.
12/01/2009
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04:22

Better Know a Made-Up District - Connecticut's 42nd
The Colbert ReportS5

Connecticut's 42nd District is located in the middle of the River Styx and is represented by Brad Pitt's character from "Fight Club."
12/01/2009
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00:04

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report, everybody.
12/01/2009
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00:34

Intro - 12/1/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Catholic Church searches for life on other planets, and Sherman Alexie discusses his book, "War Dances."
12/01/2009
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02:53

U.S. Army Chain of Command
The Colbert ReportS5

By sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan, President Obama must be unfamiliar with the chain of command.
12/01/2009
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06:39

Deployment Figures
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama's speech to send 30,000 troops to Afghanistan was missing passion and a certain word.
12/02/2009
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06:53

Cheating Death - R.J. Reynolds, Genzyme & Bionic Bottom
The Colbert ReportS5

R.J. Reynolds hopes to make money off of quit-smoking aids, Genzyme pills contain trash, and a man regulates his bowel movements via remote control.
12/02/2009
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00:34

Intro - 12/2/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama sends 30,000 troops into Afghanistan, and Craig Watkins overturns old convictions with DNA evidence.
12/02/2009
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06:11

Craig Watkins
The Colbert ReportS5

Craig Watkins tries to bring back credibility to the criminal justice system by overturning wrongful convictions.
12/02/2009
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