The Colbert Report

Intro - 11/30/09

Season 5 • 11/30/2009

Denmark will host an environmental summit after they finish painting a bike lane across the Atlantic.

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00:35

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 11/18/09

Sarah Palin has a 400-page book, "2012" takes the world by storm, and Norah Jones talks about her famous father, Indiana.
11/18/2009
00:17

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Thanks, Elvis Costello

Elvis Costello will come back and do a song with Stephen when he gets his voice back.
11/19/2009
05:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - U.S. Speedskating Team, NY Lottery & William Phillips

The U.S. Speedskating team wins at the World Cup, the New York Lottery goes upscale, and a fifth grader refuses to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
11/19/2009
02:03

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen Shakes His Moneymaker

Stephen liquidates his investments and injects them into his ass after the Senate introduces a tax on plastic surgery.
11/19/2009
05:26

The Colbert ReportS5
Celebrating the AK-47 - John Pike

John Pike talks about the popularity of the AK-47 as the Russian designer celebrates his 90th birthday.
11/19/2009
00:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Amateur Hour at the White House

Joe Biden crashes President Obama's state dinner to get on "The Real Housewives of Delaware."
11/30/2009
05:39

The Colbert ReportS5
Cevin Soling

Cevin Soling says public schools have been transformed into prisons because of an overdependence on security.
11/30/2009
06:39

The Colbert ReportS5
Something Is Melting in Denmark - Dan Esty

Dan Esty believes President Obama will bring a change in spirit to the United Nations Climate Change Conference.
11/30/2009
06:27

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a Lobby - Ploughshares Fund

Joseph Cirincione plays "Sanction, Bomb, Marry?" with Iran, Pakistan and North Korea.
11/30/2009
00:03

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Goodnight

That's it for the show, everybody.
11/30/2009
00:36

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 11/30/09

Copenhagen hosts an environmental summit, Stephen talks to an advocate for nuclear disarmament, and Cevin Soling says schools have turned into prisons.
11/30/2009
06:00

The Colbert ReportS5
Gold, Frankincense and Mars - Guy Consolmagno

Brother Guy Consolmagno explains why the Vatican accepts the possibility of alien life.
12/01/2009
06:09

The Colbert ReportS5
Sherman Alexie

Sherman Alexie criticizes digital technology for taking away the local celebration and appreciation of books.
12/01/2009
04:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a Made-Up District - Connecticut's 42nd

Connecticut's 42nd District is located in the middle of the River Styx and is represented by Brad Pitt's character from "Fight Club."
12/01/2009
00:04

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Goodnight

That's it for The Report, everybody.
12/01/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 12/1/09

The Catholic Church searches for life on other planets, and Sherman Alexie discusses his book, "War Dances."
12/01/2009
02:53

The Colbert ReportS5
U.S. Army Chain of Command

By sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan, President Obama must be unfamiliar with the chain of command.
12/01/2009
06:39

The Colbert ReportS5
Deployment Figures

President Obama's speech to send 30,000 troops to Afghanistan was missing passion and a certain word.
12/02/2009
06:53

The Colbert ReportS5
Cheating Death - R.J. Reynolds, Genzyme & Bionic Bottom

R.J. Reynolds hopes to make money off of quit-smoking aids, Genzyme pills contain trash, and a man regulates his bowel movements via remote control.
12/02/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 12/2/09

Barack Obama sends 30,000 troops into Afghanistan, and Craig Watkins overturns old convictions with DNA evidence.
12/02/2009
06:11

The Colbert ReportS5
Craig Watkins

Craig Watkins tries to bring back credibility to the criminal justice system by overturning wrongful convictions.
12/02/2009
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