The Colbert Report

Happy Columbus Day

Season 5 • 10/12/2009

Columbus worked hard bringing spices back from the West Indies and giving the natives smallpox.

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04:04

Sport Report - Rush Limbaugh & Ted Williams' Frozen Head
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Rush Limbaugh makes a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams, and cryogenics employees play baseball with Ted Williams' frozen head.
10/08/2009
04:34

Colin Beavan
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Colin Beavan spent a year making no environmental impact in the hope of finding a way to live that's better for the planet.
10/08/2009
06:58

Bend It Like Beck
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Stephen understands what Glenn Beck is going through when the media doubts his sincerity.
10/08/2009
00:35

Intro - 10/8/09
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The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.
10/08/2009
00:15

Sign Off - Buddy System
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Stephen wants you to pair up until he sees you again in 72 hours.
10/08/2009
05:59

Fallback Position - James Blake
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James Blake overcomes Stephen's total lack of athletic ability to transform him into a tennis champion.
10/12/2009
07:17

War of Peace - Shashi Tharoor
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Shashi Tharoor believes President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for giving hope to people around the world.
10/12/2009
00:18

Sign Off - Thanks to the Guests
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Stephen thanks Shashi Tharoor, James Blake and Sanjay Gupta for being his guests.
10/12/2009
00:32

Intro - 10/12/09
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The world has a peace prize in its pocket for Barack Obama, Dr. Sanjay Gupta keeps Larry King "live," and Stephen looks for a backup job.
10/12/2009
05:36

Sanjay Gupta
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Sanjay Gupta wants to intervene in the process of death and possibly reverse it.
10/12/2009
00:34

Happy Columbus Day
The Colbert ReportS5

In exchange for spices from the West Indies, Christopher Columbus gave the natives discount mattresses and smallpox.
10/12/2009
05:47

Sylvia Earle
The Colbert ReportS5

Sylvia Earle stresses the importance of doing everything we can to protect the ocean and restore health to the system that takes care of us.
10/13/2009
00:11

Sign Off - Gmail
The Colbert ReportS5

If you're watching on a computer, open up Gmail so Stephen can check some messages.
10/13/2009
04:47

The Word - Symbol-Minded
The Colbert ReportS5

The cross has nothing to do with Christianity -- it's just the normal symbol of the resting place of the dead. Download The Word NOW!
10/13/2009
00:32

Intro - 10/13/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen tells babies to get a job, and Sylvia Earle prevents him from deep-frying a merman.
10/13/2009
04:19

The Born Supremacy - David Javerbaum
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One of the most interesting things David Javerbaum discovered while researching his book is that pregnancy often affects the mother.
10/13/2009
03:08

Jermaine Maine Tweets Miley Cyrus Facts
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Stephen's pop star alter ego, Jermaine Maine, posts Twitter updates about Miley Cyrus' life.
10/13/2009
00:09

Sign Off - Should Have Put a Ring On It
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If you liked tonight's show, then you should have put a ring on it.
10/14/2009
04:24

Yahweh or No Way - Legislation Prayers & Fake Shroud of Turin
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Special interest groups pray on issues like health care, and an Italian scientist makes a fake Shroud of Turin look like Cher with a mustache.
10/14/2009
04:50

The RZA
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The RZA wants everyone to know that the truth shall set you free from all things.
10/14/2009
02:23

Pat Roberts Warns Against Health Care Box Canyon
The Colbert ReportS5

Pat Roberts is concerned that health care reform is full of spending quicksand, cactus tax hikes and policy briar patches.
10/14/2009
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