The Colbert Report

Better Know a District - Illinois' 18th - Aaron Schock

Season 5 • 04/15/2009

Is there any truth to the rumor about Congressman Schock's six-pack abs?

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04:33

Susie Orbach
The Colbert ReportS5

If Susie Orbach drops five pounds, she could be talking about her book "Bodies" on The Daily Show.
04/14/2009
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06:33

Space Module: Colbert - Sunita Williams
The Colbert ReportS5

However far the space station goes, Stephen's treadmill will always have gone a few miles more.
04/14/2009
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04:16

The Word - Have Your Cake And Eat It, Too
The Colbert ReportS5

The Payday Loan Reform Act drags the payday loan industry out of the darkness and into the anemic firefly flicker of nominal oversight.
04/14/2009
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00:07

Goodnight, Helen
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wishes Helen a good night.
04/14/2009
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03:56

Clarence Thomas' New Job
The Colbert ReportS5

Justice Clarence Thomas appreciates the little things in life, like the miracle of dishwashers.
04/14/2009
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01:53

Obama Denies Habeas Corpus
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama helps America escape from the Bill of Rights lovers who keep humping the leg of habeas corpus.
04/15/2009
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00:26

Homework Assignment
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen wants a summary of the show with special emphasis on theme and literary devices on his desk tomorrow morning.
04/15/2009
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03:40

Tax Atax
The Colbert ReportS5

Glenn Beck holds his tea party in the only location that makes sense: the Alamo.
04/15/2009
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00:34

Intro - 4/15/09
The Colbert ReportS5

It's tax day, or as many Americans call it, "Oh my God, it's 11:30."
04/15/2009
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06:29

Jim Lehrer
The Colbert ReportS5

It takes real courage for Jim Lehrer to be boring five nights a week on television.
04/15/2009
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06:59

Better Know a District - Illinois' 18th - Aaron Schock
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen may have chemistry with Congressman Aaron Schock, but he's keeping it professional.
04/15/2009
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00:29

Intro - 4/16/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Gay marriage threatens New York. On the plus side, Stephen will finally be able to marry himself.
04/16/2009
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05:06

Indian Elections - Kanishk Tharoor
The Colbert ReportS5

Kanishk Tharoor describes India's beautifully choreographed dance of democracy.
04/16/2009
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06:11

The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
The Colbert ReportS5

There's a giant gay storm gathering, and before long the winds will be blowing each other.
04/16/2009
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00:03

Goodnight Salute
The Colbert ReportS5

Goodnight, everybody.
04/16/2009
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06:01

Douglas Kmiec
The Colbert ReportS5

Douglas Kmiec doesn't want the state to adopt any religion's perspective and impose it on Americans.
04/16/2009
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02:11

Teabagging Protests
The Colbert ReportS5

Perverts sully the patriotic act of a taxpayer rising up, standing over his government and delivering his opinion into the mouth of power.
04/16/2009
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07:00

Joe Arpaio
The Colbert ReportS5

Sheriff Joe Arpaio denies that he focuses too much on illegal immigration.
04/20/2009
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02:52

Maersk Alabama - Ken Quinn
The Colbert ReportS5

Second Mate Ken Quinn and Stephen are returning to sea to hunt pirates in a two-man paddleboat.
04/20/2009
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00:16

Stephen's Only Regrets
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen's only regret is all the great stuff that was cut out because the audience wouldn't stop cheering.
04/20/2009
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03:17

Anger's Aweigh
The Colbert ReportS5

Granting vigilantes the right to shoot pirates on the high seas is the free market at its best.
04/20/2009
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