The Colbert Report
CDC Zombie Apocalypse Statement
Season 8 • 06/05/2012
The CDC changes its tune on zombie safety.
The Word - Sink or SwimThe Colbert ReportS8
Scientists predict an economy-destroying, 39-inch sea level rise, but North Carolina drafts a law to make it eight inches.
Better Know a District - Represent-O-Map 6000 & Georgia's 5thThe Colbert ReportS8
Nancy Pelosi and the Represent-O-Map 6000 boost representative bookings, and Stephen profiles Georgia's 5th congressional district.
Juvenile Speeches from Congress & President Sparkle-TalkThe Colbert ReportS8
America's leaders speak the high school language of "angry glares at the dinner table," while Barack Obama talks like an eighth-grader.
John LewisThe Colbert ReportS8
Congressman John Lewis recalls the 1965 Selma-to-Montgomery March, America's segregation and his mentor Martin Luther King, Jr.
Tip/Wag - Japanese Diet Goggles, U.S. Sperm Exports & Taxidermied ToysThe Colbert ReportS8
Japanese diet glasses reduce Oreo intake, America is the gold standard of sperm, and Dutch artist Bart Jansen converts his dead cat into a model helicopter.
Intro - 6/5/12The Colbert ReportS8
The U.S. reveals its latest export, traditional marriage faces assault, and Second Lady Dr. Jill Biden talks about her children's book.
Self-Marriage ProblemsThe Colbert ReportS8
A North Dakota woman marries herself, and Stephen envisions all the societal pressure once self-marriage becomes the norm.
Jill BidenThe Colbert ReportS8
Second Lady Jill Biden describes her passion for teaching, the resilience of military families, and her "Vice team" leadership.
CDC Zombie Apocalypse StatementThe Colbert ReportS8
Zombie-like attacks suggest a growing urban trend, but America's top emergency doctors declare that zombies do not exist.
Wisconsin's Recall ResultsThe Colbert ReportS8
Governor Scott Walker wins the Wisconsin recall election, so Stephen celebrates the end of America's unions.
Transit of Venus & Mars Reality Show PitchThe Colbert ReportS8
Stephen's sun-gazing pays off, and the private sector offers Americans the chance to pick up and move to Mars.
Neil Patrick HarrisThe Colbert ReportS8
Actor Neil Patrick Harris discusses hosting the Tony Awards, performing on Broadway and playing a convincing straight guy on "How I Met Your Mother."
Sign Off - Ray Bradbury TributeThe Colbert ReportS8
Stephen pays a fireside tribute to sci-fi legend Ray Bradbury, author of "Fahrenheit 451" and "The Illustrated Man."
Difference Makers - Larry JohnsonThe Colbert ReportS8
Bald Knob's Pastor Larry Johnson takes action to eliminate local bingo junkies at the senior center.
Corruption on Pakistan's "Sesame Street"The Colbert ReportS8
The U.S. pulls funding from Pakistan's "Sesame Street," even though its Pakistani puppet program is crucial for national security.
A Teacup Pig & Partisan PoliticsThe Colbert ReportS8
Americans are more polarized along partisan lines than at any point in the last 25 years, but one little piglet named Hamlet could mend the divide.
Regina SpektorThe Colbert ReportS8
Singer-songwriter Regina Spektor explains her appreciation for her childhood immigration experience and her love of Russian culture.
Colbert Super PAC - Super Fun Pack Treasure Hunt ClueThe Colbert ReportS8
Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack treasure hunters will get a special hint to help them solve the puzzle and win a personal appearance by Stephen.
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